What's on Your Heart?- A Lesson from Columbine?

Sent to be by a friend:

Guess our national leaders didn 't expect this, hmm? On Thursday, Darrell Scott, the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School shootings in Littleton , Colorado , was invited to address the House Judiciary Committee's subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.

They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well. It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician, every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert! These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful, penetrating, and deeply personal. There is no doubt that God sent this man as a voice crying in the wilderness. The following is a portion of the transcript:

"Since the dawn of creation there has been both good &evil in the hearts of men and women.. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott, and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who died must not be in vain. Their blood cries out for answers.

"The first recorded act of violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The villain was no t the club he used.. Neither was it the NCA, the National Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the murder could only be found in Cain's heart.

"In the days that followed the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or defend the NRA - because I don't believe that they are responsible for my daughter's death. Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed they had anything to do with Rachel's murder I would be their strongest opponent.

I am here today to declare that Columbine was not just a tragedy -- it was a spiritual event that should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem just four nights ago that expresses my feelings best.

Your laws ignore our deepest needs, Your words are empty air. You've stripped away our heritage, You've outlawed simple prayer. Now gunshots fill our classrooms, And precious children die. You seek for answers everywhere, And ask the question "Why?" You regulate restrictive laws, Through legislative creed. And yet you fail to understand, That God is what we need!

" Men and women are three-part beings. We all consist of body, mind, and spirit. When we refuse to acknowledge a third part of our make-up , we create a void that allows evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc. Spiritual presences were present within our educational systems for most of our nation's history.

Many of our major colleges began as theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as Columbine's tragedy occurs -- politicians immediately look for a scapegoat such as the NRA. They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do not need more restrictive laws. Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors. No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts.

"As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, he did not hesitate to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right! I challenge every young person in America , and around the world, to realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by those students be in vain. Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him. To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA -- I give to you a sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the first stone!

My daughter's death will not be in vain! The young people of this country will not allow that to happen!"

Do what the media did not - - let the nation hear this man's speech.. Please send this out to everyone you can. God Bless

You can also read this on Chuck Campbell Show WPJL 1240-AM Radio Raleigh, NC & RTN-10 TV Host & Producer’s Blog

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Internet Chat Cafe - Fruit of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control.
Against such things there is no law.

After looking at the verse in Galatians, what specific “fruit” (love, joy, peace…) do you find yourself lacking in your daily life? Give an example if you can.

What circumstance in your life shows your weakness with the specific “fruit” you mentioned above.

Probably the “fruit” I lack most in my daily life is self-control! I feel like this characteristic encompasses each of the other “fruits”, as well. I can only speak for myself and know that in order to strengthen my daily walk in the Lord, I must use self-control in the choices I make in all circumstances.

One of the areas of my life in which it is most evident that I lack self-control is in the way I respond to people when I feel threatened, unaccepted or unimportant - by their comments or actions. I often react, with words, quickly – without thinking of the impact my words will have on someone. It’s a problem for me and I am in prayer over it and really working to correct this behavior.

Galatians 5:
16) So I say, live by the Spirit,
and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
17) For the sinful nature desires
what is contrary to the Spirit,
and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.
They are in conflict with each other,
so that you do not do what you want.
18) But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

In the past I experienced abuse – emotional, verbal and physical. During the worst of the abuse, I had a gun held to my head and knew that I could very well die at the hand of my husband. Those years changed me forever! I believe the experiences of the past caused me to harden my heart and build walls that have been difficult to break down!

I still struggle with feelings of unworthinesss, lack of self-esteem and rejection. I know that only God can heal me and I pray for that healing. I know that He is working in me and I have experienced many positive changes over the past year and look forward to even more healing in the future - through prayer, study and I trust that He will completely free me of these strongholds.

I recently wrote a post on my blog about my defensiveness and had a comment left on my blog that, at first, I took as personal criticism and believed it to be sent from one of a very few people that I know in my life (the author was anonymous). As I read the comment over, several times, I also prayed, asking God to help me to be open to what the commenter had said and to see it in a positive light and I then began to see that it didn’t matter who wrote it or what the intent behind the comment was – it was true.

My constant prayer and my desire is to be filled with God’s love and to express myself – full of the “fruit of the Spirit” - so that others can see Christ living in me!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

"Happenings" around here!

I haven’t blogged in a while – mainly because I’ve either been really busy or . . . really tired! I am, after all, running Elizabeth’s daycare for a little while. She started back to Duncan Brothers about a month ago and then discovered that she is expecting a “wee one” in October, so things are busy around here!

I first want to say that on my last blog post a comment was left by “anonymous” telling me that I am an “offender” rather than a “defender” as I had chosen to see myself. Over the last couple of days I have reread the comment several times and have to say that I agree with the author!

When I first read the comment, I immediately thought I could narrow down the author as being one within a small group of people that I know. As I’ve thought about it, I have decided that it doesn’t matter – nor do I care – who the author is, they are right in their comments. I will take the information and use it in my daily walk by considering the things I say . . . before I say them! I do not want to be an offender – I want others to be able to see Christ in me in everything that I do each moment!

I’m still not perfect. I’m still a work in progress. But, thank you, anonymous for helping me to see my actions in a much more reflective light!

Now back to our happenings around here! We have six children enrolled in the daycare –
Batman, a 3-year old little boy who is so full of energy! He’s never still and very articulate. When he looks at me with those sweet little eyes – I melt!
Spiderman – another 3-year old little boy who when matched against Batman is a force to be reckoned with! He’s a very sensitive little guy, a great helper in everything whether it’s picking up toys or pushing in the chairs after meals. I love to just scoop him up and hold him – especially because he likes to get away from hugs as quickly as possible! He only loves hugs from his Mommy!
Snow White – a 3-year old little girl, sweet and loving and always wants to please. She has some tough transition periods when being dropped off and picked up, but always ends up with smiles and sweet good-byes. My day would not be the same without her!
Little Miss – Snow White’s 10 month old sister. She is definitely a Mommy’s girl, but she’s adjusted well to being here. She loves playtime on the floor – so much more than the other kids love her floor playtime. She’s at the perfect age to try to take everything they have in their hands. They’re all great with her and show patience and love toward her all the time!
Sleeping Beauty – she’ll be 2 in a couple of months and is a sweetheart. She’s always in a good mood and never gives us any trouble! She plays well with the older kids (still learning to play with Little Miss) and gets right in the middle of whatever they’re playing. She, too, is a light in my day!
Little Big Guy – a little boy who just recently turned 1 and started at the daycare just a couple of weeks ago. In that short time, he’s also won my heart. He’s so cute and he has the deepest voice I’ve ever heard in a young man! He loves to drive cars and trucks – with the sounds to go along! We’re still getting to know each other, but so far – so great!

I absolutely love having the kids here each day. I love the innocence and love they show each other and that they show me. Even after they have a “tiff” they’re best friends again before they even turn around! I learn so much from these kids – and I’m thankful to have this opportunity!

Poor Elizabeth! She has really been sick the last few weeks. She was so sick during her pregnancy with Addy and had to go to the hospital about every other week – spending time on the monitor, receiving IV fluids and medication to help with her nausea and vomiting. I’m praying that she is not so drastically ill with this baby and that the nausea will pass soon! I’m so excited about the baby coming! I love being a grandma and wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Jody and I are doing great and I’m so happy! Chance is spending so much more time with us now and I can’t even tell you how much that thrills me! God is working in our lives and I’m seeing it in so many ways! I support Jody and was able to show him that support a few days ago. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do in a very long time; I cried all the way home after the event - from the stress and reactions we received and was physically ill all day yesterday because of the stress. Even with all of that, I’m thankful I could be with him – at his request! I was thankful that he asked me to be with him and very pleased to be able to oblige!

That’s what’s happening around here. What’s happening where you are?

In His Love and Blessings
annb

I Am A Defender!

One of the areas in my life that still needs some definite work is my defensiveness against people who have hurt someone I love. I'm afraid I am a bit aggressive when it comes to defending those who are most important in my life.

Sometimes in defending my "loves" I end up coming on so strong that I offend or hurt the person who I feel has committed the offense against "mine"! That really is not my intention. I start out just wanting them to understand the hurt they have caused because I feel like if you can talk about problems . . . they can be resolved!

Not always so! It seems there are people who believe they have no fault in hurting others - no matter what the situation. I guess they just think it's the injured person's responsibility to "get over it" - which is not always easy!

I am (slowly) learning that just because I want to defend my family and friends - it's not always practical. Depending on the person who has caused the hurt and that person's continued "hurtful" behavior - there may be no resolution! In that case, I resolve, from this day, to stop defending . . . at least to those same people.

That doesn't mean I won't still be saddened by the hurt inflicted or by the affect it has on those I love, but I will choose not to share those feelings with those people who have decided it doesn't matter to them. My actions to defend those I love having no impact, but angering or hurting the offender - does nothing to help anyone! Big news, right?!

I've never understood why people choose to ignore issues that can cause deep problems in their relationships. I guess it's because of the way my parents taught me to talk things out before they could become an issue. I'm glad they taught me those things because I know it makes a huge difference! I've just had to learn that it doesn't always make a difference to others.

I don't want to hurt others. I try to see them through God's eyes, even though I've not perfected this in my life! I am still a work in progress and hope that I continue to learn for the rest of my life.

Because of trauma that I've lived through in the past I sometimes believe that others will be as hurt as I once was by actions and words against them and that's just not the way I need to look at every situation. Each person deals with hurt in their own way and that's what I have begun to understand more fully.

Thank you, God, for forgiveness and mercy.

Thank you, Father, that my heart has been opened

and accepting of Your truths.

I pray that I will be open to allowing the Holy Spirit to speak

through me in all areas of my life and

to think about every word before it is spoken!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

From Grandma to Teacher!!

Today Elizabeth started back to school and I became sole caregiver to our little daycare kids. I absolutely love the kids and have been around them for a long time. They know me, but not as primary caregiver. I have always been "grandma" to them.

Today one of the boys (we have two boys and four girls in daycare), decided he was going to "try" me and find out if I would still be "grandma" or if I would be like his preschool teacher, Miss Liz. Normally, the kids would look to me if they were in trouble or if they got a boo-boo and needed a kiss. They would also come to me for snuggles and hugs which, by the way is one of my favorite times, too!

I'm still there for snuggles and hugs and to kiss the boo-boos, but now I also have to be "teacher". The other kids seemed to be fine with it, but not my one little guy, Z. He decided no matter what I said, no matter what he knew he was supposed to do . . . or was told to do, he would not comply! I'm afraid to say he spent some serious "thinking time" in the time-out chair. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.

The kids are all great - really great! Even my little guy who wanted to test me today! I couldn't ask for a better group of kids to care for and the parents are great, too!

Z's antics today reminded me of how I, at times, test God. Those times that I choose to knowingly make choices that are not always in alignment with His teachings. I'm so thankful that God is merciful and He is full of grace . . . for me, even though I certainly don't deserve it.

As I have "matured", I make better choices (most of the time) and truly want to be the best me that I can be for the Lord. I'm human and I'm not always strong - but I also know that He is my strength - if I allow Him to be!

Every choice I make, every choice I ever made, brings consequences. Poor choices usually result in poor consequences . . . as I well know from my own experience. I am now very focused on making choices that will bring about the best consequences - even if that means leaving behind those people, places and things that cause me distress or weakness.

I believe that God places people in our lives as we need them. The people that come into our lives provide "something" that we need at that particular time but may not be people that will remain with us for our entire life! I truly believe that some people fill a need and once that need has been fulfilled may no longer have a necessary purpose in our lives.

This past year I've learned so much and know that people that bring me down, cause me to doubt myself or who reject or hurt me are not people I should keep around me. I can best serve the Lord when I am strong, convicted and content in my surroundings.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me"
Psalm 138:8

Father, I pray that You will lead me, in all ways, through this life. Please help me to recognize who and what I should surround myself with so that my heart is open to You! Please help me to be everything that You, Lord, want me to be! I trust You with my life and put my faith and my hope in You!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

25 Random Things About Me!

25 Random Things About Me

You’ve probably seen this floating around and I have now been tagged by two friends to do my own list. 25 things sure seems like a lot to share about myself – especially since I don’t share a lot about me, but here goes!

1. I love the Lord and put my faith and trust in Him – not in this world!

2. I am number four of six children. I have two sisters and three brothers.

3. I was married to my husband, Jody, on Valentine’s Day, 1989.

4. This is not my first marriage – I was previously married to a drug dealer and an alcoholic and spent most of that time bruised and battered from domestic abuse.

5. I was stalked by my first husband after I left him and had to file a VPO (which, unfortunately, did not keep him away!)

6. I have two (biological) children – Elizabeth, 28 (from my first marriage) and Chance, 19.

From Left: Me, Candace, Chance, Elizabeth, Toni

7. I have a very close relationship with my daughter, Elizabeth. I believe she saved my life by giving me the strength to leave my husband after he hit me when I was four months pregnant. She also says that I saved her life that day, as well!

8. I have a great relationship with my son, too. He is very independent and we clashed a lot during his 18th year – due to that independence. He wears a (tall) Mohawk, has “snake bites” (two lower lip rings) and recently got a tattoo. Once I was able to “let go” of mothering him and just love him, things are awesome!

9. I have a close relationship with my granddaughter, Addyson, 7 years old (Elizabeth’s daughter). Elizabeth has always made her available to me which has provided great quality time for us!



10. I have two stepdaughters – Toni, 29 and Candace, 26.

11. I have four grandchildren from them – Blake, age 9 (Toni’s) and Levi, age 6, Joey, age 5 and Abigail, who will turn 1 on Feb 11 (Candace’s three). I don’t see them as much as I would like to, but love them all!



12. I love my stepdaughters and have been blessed to have them in my life. Our relationships, unfortunately, changed after I left Jody and we were separated for 8 months this past year. I pray that we can come together again as a family!

13. Jody and I decided that neither of us was ready to give up our marriage and came back together, are in counseling with our Family Pastor at church and are both dedicated to making our marriage stronger and better than ever under God’s direction!

14. Both of my parents are deceased – my Dad passed away in 1994 and my Mom passed away in Feb, 2007 in my home.



15. I quit my job in 2006 to become 24 hour caregiver to my Mom after moving her in with us. She suffered from sudden onset dementia and most days did not even know who I was, but it was the most rewarding experience of my life!

16. I was an x-ray technician in the Oklahoma Air National Guard – in my younger years! I went through basic training and tech school and actually made it through all of it!

17. I graduated from high school in a class of 22 students in 1976.
My 20 year High School Reunion (I am front row, third from left)

18. Between the ages of 12 and 18, I had at least one surgery per year – eight to remove tumors and two other surgeries to remove other “stuff”.

19. I jumped on the Phen-Fen craze in 1995 and, as a result, damaged my heart and developed asthma. I will be on medication for the rest of my life.

20. I also battle depression – but am winning that battle thanks to God’s healing power and a great psychiatrist and counselor who are both Christians!

21. I do not eat sugar – not in the last 5 ½ years.

22. I will be taking over Elizabeth’s daycare as of next Tuesday. I became a licensed daycare provider two weeks ago. Elizabeth is returning to Duncan Brothers Barber College to finish her hours and get her license.

23. Jody and I are living with Elizabeth and her husband, Michael in their converted garage and will be here until Elizabeth finishes school. We have rented out our house in Choctaw to Candace and her family.

24. I am a country girl at heart and, once Elizabeth finishes school, Jody and I will be looking for a great country place to make our home! We want lots of room to garden, keep neighbors at a distance and just enjoy the quiet life!

25. I am a homebody, not very adventurous, not well traveled – just an ordinary person living an ordinary life (now!). I don’t live to please other people – am my own person living in a way that, I pray, is glorifying to God! I am still learning each and every day and am thankful to have learned so much about myself over the past year!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Kevin . . . at WalMart?

Today started off just like any normal day! I got up around 4:30 am, watched the news, had my coffee and started my day . . . just like every other day!

This afternoon I had to make a run to WalMart and decided that rather than going to one of the two stores we have here in Norman, I would take a little drive and go to the WalMart in Moore – Norman’s next door neighbor. I haven’t done this at all since living here – always go to the store here in Norman.

When I got to the store I was doing my shopping and noticed that people were lined up all the way down the middle of the store! You’ll never guess why they were lined up! Okay, I’ll tell you. Kevin Costner was in the middle of the store . . . signing autographs and taking pictures!

Now, this had to be the time that I left my phone at home – so I couldn’t even take a picture! I couldn’t believe it! I stood not six feet away from him! It was pretty exciting (I don’t get out of the house much!), but really – it was Kevin Costner!

Sunday evening we had watched the movie Swing Vote (which was pretty good, by the way). It really made my day to see him in person today! I was really close again, as he left – through the back door – surrounded by several police officers, WalMart personnel and quite a few others that I guessed were his crew.

Anyway, that was my excitement for the day. When I first got home and told Elizabeth and Michael, they didn’t believe me – who can blame them? Kevin Costner in Moore, Oklahoma?!

Yeah, he was here and I saw him!

You can read about it here at NewsOK.com

Kevin Costner will perform in Oklahoma City's Bricktown in February
By Gene Triplett - Entertainment Editor
Published: December 11, 2008Buzz up!

The star of "Field of Dreams," "The Upside of Anger" and Oscar-winning director of "Dances with Wolves" is bringing his country music side project to Bricktown's Wormy Dog Saloon at 8:30 p.m. Feb. 3.

In His Love and Blessings
annb