August 28, 2006 - Washing the Feet of Saints

I was searching for a support group of individuals caring for elderly parents when I found this blog http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/PatriciaWHunter. It really hit me because first of all, it is written by a Christian woman, who talks about caring for parents and has comments from others caring for parents. I think it will help me - by reading the thoughts of others who are sharing some of the same experiences as I am with my Mom.

Unfortunately, I can no longer care for her at home, but my love and devotion to her has not changed. She is one of the most important people in my life and I miss her being here with us.

August 22, 2006

I have a job! It's only a temp job, but it's a job! I went, yesterday, to the temp agency and filled out all the paperwork and completed all the testing - typing, data entry, 10-key, etc. I got a call today and went for an interview with OPERS (Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System) and start work tomorrow! The job should last about two months. I let them know that I am looking for a permanent position and they said it would be fine if I needed to be available to interview other places. During the interview, the interviewer let me know that they would have some permanent positions opening there, but because of the location, I told him that I wasn't interested in a permanent position, but the temp job would be great for me.Last night, Jody and I picked up Candace and Levi and took them to Penn Square Mall for Levi's birthday gift. We took him to "Build-A-Bear" and let him build his own. He picked out a dog, added a bark, stuffed him, got him a feed bowl and mat and also picked out a gold medal for the dog. He named the dog Tanner. Candace called today to let me know how much he loves the dog. He even asked Joey to watch Tanner while he was at school today. It was fun and I'm glad we were able to do it. Yesterday, after leaving the temporary staffing agency, Elizabeth and Addy came over and we first went to see Gerry at his office to pick up some paperwork that needed signatures from Mom. Then we left there and went to visit with Granny a little bit. When we got to the nursing home she was in the administrator's office and was quite upset and was talking to the administrator John telling him how much she wanted to move to be closer to her family in Piedmont. Of course, her family is not in Piedmont - except that is where her Mother and Father, two of her brothers and Daddy are all buried at Kansas Cemetery. Elizabeth and Addy took her to her room and I visited with John, the administrator, for a little bit. We talked about how upset Mother is most of the time now and tried to see if we could come up with a solution. I really don't think there is a solution that will make things good for her. She really wants to be at home with her children and that is just not possible anymore. She absolutely must be in a place where she has help available to her 24 hours a day! It really hurts to see her so unhappy and I wish that I could give her what she wants, but I can't. I can not care for her at home anymore - not physically, nor emotionally. I know in my head that this is the only solution, but it doesn't make it any easier. Well, I guess I should probably call it a night. Tomorrow is a work day!

August 20, 2006

This has been a tough week. Mother has really had a hard time which makes it hard on the rest of us. Monday morning, she fell getting out of bed. She bruised the whole side of her face really bad! Jeannie went up there to sit with her at lunch and said her face was swollen so badly that she couldn't even open her eye. I went up there on Wednesday and yesterday and it is still really bruised. Yesterday, she had a pretty good day - the only one this week, I think. Gerry and Pam went up to visit yesterday before Addy and I went up there. Today, Mom called and said that Charlie had been up to see her this morning. Gerry called later and said Mom had told him the same thing. I don't know if Charlie was really here or not - he didn't call anyone if he was really here.
Roberta called today and asked if they could do a Psych evaluation on Mom and I gave them permission to do so. I don't really know if we need it or not, since she is not taking meds anymore except for comfort. I wish they could get her anxiety and depression under control. I just don't know what we're going to do, if they can't.
I have an appointment in the morning at Galt Foundation. It's a temporary agency that is contracted with the State. Hopefully, I will be able to start working for them soon. I was hoping to hear something from the City of Choctaw, but haven't heard anything yet. I did check their website and they are no longer taking apps for the jobs I applied for. I sent them a followup letter, hoping to hear something that way.
I've had Addyson this weekend, while Michael and Elizabeth went to Missouri. Yesterday was Levi's birthday party, so we went to their house for awhile. We had a good time. Toni had to leave early in order to get her house cleaned, she said, because Lisa is moving in with her today. I guess she is leaving her boyfriend. It was good to see Toni and Blake. We don't get to see them enough!

I'm not sure what time Elizabeth will be here to get Addy. It's been fun, but I always am tired when the kids leave. I think because I don't sleep as well when the kids are here. I think I sleep lighter because I'm afraid I won't hear them if they need me.
We've done so much to the house these last couple of months. It's looking so much better. We still need to paint the main bathroom, but maybe I'll have time to do that this week. Jody painted the living room and kitchen, laid new floor in the living room and hallway. It looks great. He has really done a great job!
My flower beds look really bad! I haven't worked in them this year like I should have. We also have not watered because we're having some trouble with the well. I'm not sure it's going to last much longer. We've asked Jim and Sheila to check on getting another one done, so there's not so much stress on this one. I hope if they're able to get one done, this one will last at least another year. Since I've been off work, this is really not the right time for us to put one in - money, money, money!
Oh well, hopefully I'll get back to work soon. I'm ready, I guess. I have enjoyed being at home - keeping house, cooking again and being your typical housewife. Oh well, nothing lasts forever, right?!

August 2, 2006

Today has been a really good day! Last night was not great - Jody worked out of town all night. He got home just in time this morning to take a shower and go to work again! I don't really sleep as well when he's gone - and last night as no exception. Chance and I went to Elizabeth's today and from there Elizabeth, Addy and I went to see Granny at the nursing home. She was asleep when we got there, but Addy decided she would be Granny's nurse and after putting a wet rag on Granny's forehead, was able to wake Granny up and get a description of her illness for her chart(Nurse Addy's chart, that is). Granny told Addy that the only thing wrong with her was that she was "old". Addy decided that wasn't good enough, so whispered to Granny to pretend a spider bit her on the toe - so that became Granny's illness.
We got a call this evening from Dustin's family in Albequerque, NM. Dustin is Chance's best friend! Good news! They are moving back! I talked to mom Michelle for a little bit before giving Chance the phone to talk to Dustin. I'm so excited that they're coming back. They moved a couple of years ago, and Chance has really missed talking and being around Dustin for all that time. Chance was able to go to Albequerque for a couple of weeks last year, and that was a lot of fun for him. Michelle said they will be here for school, probably in September and they will be staying here.
Jody came in this evening and mowed the yard, then showered and collapsed into bed! His "all-nighter" just about did him in. We're not as young as we used to be!
I turned in an application for a job with the Health Care Authority. I hope to hear something soon. This "unemployment" thing (not Unemployment as in weekly pay, but unemployment as in "no job, no pay".) is really getting to me. Jody is enjoying it, I think, since with no job I am able to keep the house clean and cook dinner at night for him.
Oh well, I guess he better not get too used to that! As soon as I go back to work, it will probably stop!

July 27, 2006

I checked Izzy's blog today, remembering that yesterday was her 4th birthday. It seems unreal that it's been over two years since her accident. I am always encouraged when reading about her treatment and the progress of her recovery, because it shows the dedication and love that Annie and her family have for each other. It always helps me in putting my life in perspective because God has so richly blessed me. Sometimes it's easy to forget where the blessings come from and to give God the glory for all the things in my life!

I am so thankful to God for bringing Jody into my life along with Toni and Candace, and for giving me Elizabeth and Chance. My life has been greatly enriched because of our children. Elizabeth, especially gives special meaning because without her, I'm not sure that I would still be here today. In reality, I believe she saved my life by giving me the strength to leave the situation I was in at the time I got pregnant!

I think about the kids a lot and know that I made mistakes in my parenting, but hope that the faith and the values we taught the kids while they were growing up will be a source of strength and guidance for them throughout their lifetimes.

I am concerned right now about Toni. It seems to me that she is truly searching for something to give her life some meaning - although I know she is looking in the wrong places.

I love Toni and pray that she will make good decisions - that her faith will be strengthened and she will come back to the life she knows is right.
Elizabeth and Addy are doing well - Elizabeth's marriage to Michael is, I'm sure, pleasing to God and I know that they will live in service to Him daily.
Candace and Nick are also doing well. Candace going back to work and Nick keeping the boys while she works is probably good for all of them. They talk to me a lot more about Nick than they used to. I think, most of the time, they like staying with him!

Chance is such a great kid! I can't imagine my life without him! Sometimes I think, with dread, about living through those teenage years again, but he really has a good head on his shoulders and so far has not been any trouble. I wish that we had been better about making Bible study and attending worship services a priority. He's had a good moral upbringing and knows right from wrong - but I'm not sure he truly understands the sacrifice of Christ and what that means to his life! Those are things I want him to know and understand so that he can live his life with God's will as the basis for everything he says and does.

My Mom - I miss her! Since she moved to the nursing home in January, I have definitely felt her absence and it becomes stronger each day! In March after she seemed to forget so many things about her life, she has really gone down quickly! She's tired and she misses Daddy and Grandma so much! I pray daily that God will comfort her and keep her in his loving embrace until the time for her to depart this life. I know she's ready in all ways and when the time comes, it will be such a relief! She has lived in service to Him and will be blessed!