Who Are You - Really?

Blogs, chat rooms, online dating sites. Each of these things has made it easy to keep in touch, pray for others, update special news events . . . but, they have also made it easy to take on an “alternate” persona. Speaking, through your writing, as if you are someone that doesn’t relate to your real life persona.

Do you know anyone like this? Are you, perhaps, guilty yourself? Are you really who you say you are?

I’ve been blogging now for a couple of years and like to visit my “regular read” blogs, plus new blogs that I find through searches or other blogs. I sometimes read about people who are dealing with trials in their lives, and yet maintain – as written on their blogs – a happy-go-lucky attitude, never ever showing the slightest crack under pressure. I wondered how they could be so nonchalant about events that would cause many people worry, sadness, questioning “why” or even true depression. Even Christ Jesus was sorrowful and troubled over his impending death on the cross.

Matthew 26:

36) Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them,

"Sit here while I go over there and pray."

37) He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him,

and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.

38) Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

Stay here and keep watch with me."

39) Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed,

"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.

Yet not as I will, but as you will."

I finally came to the realization that it’s easy to be that way with people that don’t know you, have never met you and don’t know your real life and attitudes.

I have had struggles in my life and sometimes found “Christians” to be the most difficult to deal with because of the beliefs they held that Christians should never be depressed or unhappy. That if I had true faith in God, I would not experience negative emotions. I know that is not true. I know that I serve a loving God and that my faith is strong and that I am blessed beyond measure. I know that God loves me, knows my heart and wants me to love others, being real and sharing His love with them. I know that when I experience troubling feelings and emotions, my responsibility is to look to my Lord for comfort and peace.

Philippians 2:

(1) “If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ,

if any comfort from his love,

if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,

(2) then make my joy complete by being like-minded,

having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

(3) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,

but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

(4) Each of you should look not only to your own interests,

but also to the interests of others.”

I know, from my blogging and blog reading that there are many inspirational and Godly bloggers online and feel honored each time that I learn of someone who needs prayer and I am able to do my part in lifting them before God for healing, direction or anything troubling them in their life.

Carry each other's burdens,

and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

One of my goals for 2009 – and beyond – is to be “real” in person and online. To be the person that I say I am – both in speaking and in writing. To understand that every day and every experience is different and that as long as I seek God’s direction in all things, it’s okay to feel whatever it is I am feeling!

Thank you, God, for love, mercy and grace. Thank you, God, for loving me when I feel unlovable. Thank you for forgiveness in my life – both given and received.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

"Til Death Do Us Part"

This has been a great week for Jody and me and I’m so thankful for the blessings God has provided. Christmas day was very quiet for us. Our children had met with us earlier for our Christmas celebration and Christmas day was reserved for them and their plans. Jody and I had the same tradition when our kids were younger. We always wanted to be at home for Christmas so that the kiddos could sleep in their own bed, eager for Santa to bring their gifts and fill their stockings!

Jody and I went to a matinee that afternoon and saw the movie, “Fireproof”. What an awesome movie! It really touched both our hearts, especially because of the events of this year. I’m glad we saw the movie and were able to talk about it afterwards. We are learning how to better communicate with each other and through that, God is really working in our lives.

Chance called me on Friday evening and said he had something he needed to tell me. What a way to start a conversation! I won’t even say what it was he said he had to tell me, but he started by saying, “Mom, you support me in everything I do, right?” Uh, most things! Then he said the words that I never imagined I would ever hear from one of my children.

I quietly caught my breath and said, “Well, uh . . .. “ He broke in laughing and said, “That’s really not true, but I do have something to tell you. Now that you’ve heard the worst news you could ever hear – the truth is . . . I got a tattoo!” I was able to respond that time without hesitation and asked him questions about it (as if I’m interested in his “body - upper arm - art”) and he told me all about it. He finished and then said, “Isn’t that cool?” I told him, “No, not really”. I also explained to him that I love him no matter what and he is his own person.

This past year through everything I have learned, one of the most life-changing things that Julie helped me learn is that I am only responsible for me. I can’t take on anyone else’s “stuff” because there’s nothing I can do about it anyway. I am and always will be Chance’s mom. I will love him always – as I do all four of my children. They are all grown and they all make their own decisions, no longer seeking approval or acceptance of their decisions from Jody or me. Those things don’t define who they are or where they may go in this life. The most important thing I pray for my children is that they all accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, accepting the wonderful blessing of His love!

Saturday, Jody and I met with my siblings and their families for our Christmas celebration. It was such a great time! Even though they all know that I left Jody earlier this year and everything that transpired since that time, they are all loving, kind and accepting of who we are now – in this season of our lives! Not one of them has been judgmental, but instead have listened and been there for me during this time. Not one of them has taken sides – favoring either Jody or me in any way. They love us both and want us to be happy. That doesn’t mean that they have agreed with everything, but they never changed toward either of us. I am so thankful for their love and support!

I’m sad to say that the same has not been true for others. There are some who do not want Jody and me to be together again. There are some who have voiced opinions that have been painful to hear and completely destructive to the relationship that was once thought to be steadfast! I’ve been shocked to hear some of what has been said – not understanding how anyone could be so mean and hurtful.

Jody and I are doing really well together again. We have forgiven each other and are working towards the best relationship possible. We have decided that we no longer have to worry about what others think about our marriage – whether they are family, friends or strangers . . . it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that we have made peace with each other and want our marriage to be under God’s direction. We are learning so much about each other after all this time. It’s as if we never had the peace - during all the years the kids were growing up – that we needed to really build our relationship and secure our marriage. Thankfully, we feel that we have that now. The kids are all grown and we no longer have to listen to other people or care about how they think we are nurturing and teaching our children. That is a huge obstacle to our happiness that has now been removed.

The freedom that we now feel by not worrying about the opinions of other people – only considering how God sees our marriage – is another. It’s as if we are “meeting” for the first time and it’s safe and loving and I know it is “ . . . ‘til death do us part.”

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Please Pray

Have you ever wondered how you would react if your family was faced with news that would forever change your life? Would your faith hold strong? Would your trust be in God? Would you deal with each and every step of the journey with dignity, grace and belief in God's promises?

There is a family - a part of our church family - who was dealt such news earlier this year. I've posted about them before - the Rigg's family, who have a three year old daughter diagnosed with Leukemia. They are a family that is loving, dedicated and with an amazing faith in the Lord. Through all of this journey with Abby, they are an inspiration to everyone they come in contact with.

They have recently been given news that Abby has only about a 20% survival rate. They also know that this news comes from man and not from God. They have put their trust and Abby in God's hands. I am touched by their faithfulness every time I receive a new message about Abby and each and every time I read Brent's or Michelle's blogs.

I would ask that you take a moment to visit them at . . . Where Laughter Lives, and pray for Abby and for this family. Brent has made a video tribute to Abby and you can see it here. I know that this family will touch your heart as they have mine.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! I have sent out my text greeting to all my family and friends and now the day begins. It's very quiet here, just Jody and me. This is the first Christmas in 20 years that it has just been the two of us. We celebrated our family Christmas with all the kids and grandkids a couple of weeks ago and today each of the kids is spending the day with their own little family or with others. It seems strange, but that's what happens as your children grow older.

Jody and I went to a Christmas Eve service at church last night and really enjoyed it. We sang praise songs for the season and re-visited the story of Christ's birth. This is a season of reflection on the greatest gift ever given - the birth of Jesus, His life as a man on this earth, His crucifixion and resurrection. I'm incredibly thankful for this gift.

My parents are both gone now and I miss them so much, but know because of the gift we've been given, eternal life with a home in Heaven, I will see them again and that gives me comfort.

. . . but the gift of God is eternal lifein Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Material gifts have never been the focus in my family and that has not changed this year. I have received one of the best gifts I've ever received - the blessing of my husband and I being reunited after being separated this year. There is no gift that could top this one. We both love the Lord, love each other and want our marriage to be a reflection of our love. We are both willing to do what it takes to make our marriage one that will glorify God. Our belief is that with this as our heart's desire, our marriage will be everlasting!

God has provided instruction for marriage through His word, The Holy Bible, and that is our focus. We are meeting regularly with our Family Pastor to learn better ways of communication, which will help us to grow closer together.

1 Peter 3

Wives and Husbands

1) Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,

2) when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

3) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

4) Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

5) For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,

6) like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7) Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

I am filled with the belief that God has great things in store for Jody and me for 2009. We are both ready for everything the new year will bring!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Addy in Disneyland

Elizabeth, Michael and Addy are at Disneyland this week! They left last Friday afternoon and, of course, report back each day. Yesterday was especially fun for Addy because the performers of "High School Musical" selected her to come on stage to dance and sing with them. They threw a feather boa around her neck and she was set to go! She was so excited when she called to tell me about it.

I've posted a picture below of her on stage. If you want to read more about their trip visit Elizabeth's blog here.

Out of HUNDREDS of people, Addyson was one of the handful picked to dance on stage with High School Musical 3. You KNOW she was stoked!!!! She played the part VERY well. People around us kept saying things like, "She's not shy, is she?" and "She's perfect for that part!" They announced her name and that she is from Oklahoma. They also said she's the next star of HSM. She will never forget that!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Prayer Request for Abby

Please read the following post and add little Abby to your prayer list. Abby and her family need your prayers for God's healing power and comfort for what they are going through now. For more information, please visit . . . Where Laughter Lives. This Update on Abby was posted today, Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Riggs: important update on Abby - Dec. 23rd...

For new readers, our daughter, Abby, three years old, adopted from Guatemala, was diagnosed with Leukemia in July this year.

We thought Abby maybe had a stroke last week; MRI's were negative; she has recovered from the strange symptoms.

Update on Abby...We got a call late last week that our Doctor wanted to consult with us. Never good... Here's the short version about this latest development with Abby:

8% of the population has a specific genetic variation...

That variation is NOT a factor in getting Leukemia...

However, if you get Leukemia and you have that variation, you are FOUR TIMES more likely to die during the first year of treatment from complications or relapse.

One effect of this gene variation is increased toxicity from specific drugs. Our doctor is going to help us monitor this particular aspect so that we can keep those complications to a minimum.

Our kind Doctor said it was "not a death sentence, but no, not good news". I asked her if that took Abby from her previous 70% chance of survival down to around 20 or 30% and she replied "it's hard to put a number to it..." but did not offer another figure.

For the next couple of weeks, Abby is in “interim maintenance” an easier period of chemo, which is kind of laughable if you saw how many drugs and chemo she is still getting. On Jan 16, she begins “delayed intensification” which is the hardest part of her entire treatment. Given today’s news, you can guess how much this 60 day period concerns us since we almost lost her a couple of times already in lesser intensity therapy periods.

We are already planning to get some help during those two months of “delayed intensification” because based on history, we will probably be in the hospital the majority of the time dealing with significant complications. Would you:

. . . Please pray for us to have wisdom, strength and health to take care of Abby
. . . Put Abby on any prayer lists or groups and prayer for her healing

. . . Pray that God will be glorified no matter what the outcome

. . . Pray that God will make provision for the increased needs and expenses coming up

We know that God can safeguard Abby no matter what – four times, ten times, a hundred times “more likely…” whatever. God is bigger than genetics, cancer or any other difficulty we face.

We also know that Abby is in a win/win situation: she wins if we get to keep her here; she wins if she gets to go be with God and wait for us there. However, it goes without saying that we would be unspeakably sad to have to let her go, so we pray for her healing, and ask you to do the same.

Looks like Abby gets to be home for Christmas, and that is WONDERFUL. She went to see Christmas lights last night, and will get to see them again tomorrow night. Our wonderful friends, Carol and Scott, are picking up our three little ones in a LIMO and taking them to see Christmas lights! We have received Christmas gifts for the children from Scott’s office and co-workers. Carol and Scott have just been SO kind and generous to us. We are so thankful for them. They have really gone above and beyond to be a blessing to us.

We also received Christmas gifts for the kids from our wonderful church family, who also continue to bring us meals and help us however they can. We are truly blessed with incredible friends and Christian family. Our own families of course have done much for us too during this difficult time. We could go on and on about people reaching out to help care for Abby. One particular friend, J.N., knows how deeply grateful we are to him. He’s not about getting public praise, but he has been a life changing blessing to us.

If you have any questions, leave a comment, and we will be glad to respond. Thank you for your prayers. We pray that no matter what happens, everyone will see God clearer and be drawn to Him. God hasn’t gone to sleep, He’s not busy somewhere else. He cares for every tiny little re-growing hair on Abby’s head, and every missing hair on my head.

Our faith is unshaken, and God has already been more than glorified through our trial.

Blessings,

Brent (and Michelle) http://www.brentriggs.com/http://www.riggsfamilyblog.com/

Abby recovered from the weird symptoms and gets to be home for Christmas

Memories

I was looking back on my blog this morning for one of my posts regarding my mom and found the post below. I thought it was great time to post it again - 2 years later. Each Blessing that I've listed still applies and I thought it an appropriate time for these memories!

I've Been Tagged!

Tag. . . I’m it! Thankful Meme Annie has tagged me – the theme is three (3) things for which I am thankful. I have to say that three of the many blessings I have received will hardly even begin to touch my lengthy list, but here are three.

1… I am thankful for my husband, Jody. Jody came into my life at a time when, after being a single mom for almost eight years, I truly felt that my life was complete! I was not looking for, nor did I think I ever wanted to be married – after two failed marriages. My first two marriages were filled with abuse – emotional and extreme physical abuse. The abuse was so severe and I had come to believe that marriage and torture were one and the same – at least for me! Jody showed me that love is not painful or unkind! I believe that God brought Jody into my life and led me to accept Jody as my husband for the rest of my life. Jody loves me unconditionally for the person that I am – even with my faults. His expectations of me are realistic and don’t involve punishment if I’m unable to meet those expectations! Jody helped me become a better, more tolerable and more trusting person by loving me. I will thank God, for the rest of my life, for bringing Jody into my life.

2… I am thankful for my children and grandchildren. Elizabeth is my first-born child. She is 26 years old, a wife, a mother and a sister to our other children. Elizabeth and I have a very close relationship – she is not only my daughter, but also one of my best friends. She is a great mom to my only granddaughter. She has a strong faith in God, which is shared by her husband, Michael. She and Michael make a great team – a union formed under the leadership of our Lord. I know that whatever Elizabeth does in this life will be great because she allows God to lead her decisions.

Chance is my baby (even at 17 years of age), born to Jody and me after only 11 months of marriage. We knew that we wanted a child together after we married and were doubly blessed – becoming pregnant so quickly and having a boy – after having three girls in our family already. Chance is very loving and very sensitive. He has an amazing sense of humor and shares it with his family and friends! He is very intelligent and after being tested in while in grade school, was placed in the gifted program! He retains information without much study, but doesn’t always apply himself to schoolwork! He is in the process of learning to drive – even though he really doesn’t care whether he drives or not. He’s not in a hurry to drive and that’s okay with me.

Candace is one of my “instant’ children, becoming mine to share when Jody and I married. She is 24 years old, is a wife and a mother and a great sister to her our other children. She helps me a lot – always ready and willing if she’s needed. Candace is strong, even though she doesn’t know it always. She is a good mom to my two youngest grandsons and loves her boys over everything else. She doesn’t mind hard work and is a great housekeeper. Candace and I are close and I hope that never changes.

Toni is my other “instant” daughter – also becoming mine to share when Jody and I married. Toni is 27, is a wife and a mother to my oldest grandson. She takes her job as wife and mother very seriously and loves her family dearly. Toni was nine (9) when we married and she and I went through a lot of trials together. Toni loved her mom very much and wanted, of course, for her mom and dad to be together always. Toni’s mom died when Toni was 16 and that has been hard for her. I know that she would have loved for her mom to be around to see her as she is now and to have been there for her to share in her special moments – high school graduation, her marriage and the birth of her son. I love Toni and I will always.

3… I am thankful for my “other” family – my siblings, aunts and uncles and cousins. I grew up in a wonderful family in which we were very close to both my Dad’s family and my Mom’s family. We had great reunions – and still do – getting together often and therefore knowing each other well. My parents taught us – their children – to love God above all else and to live our lives according to His will. They taught us love and kindness and the importance of family. Both extended families are made up of Christians and that was evident in every aspect of our lives. When we all met together there was never drinking, distasteful language or mistreatment of each other. We always knew, and still know today, that each member of the families would do anything for any other member of the family – no matter what! My parents are both gone now – but we are still a family - They taught us that!

My thankful list is long – these are only three of my great blessings - as requested!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

A Work In Progress

I serve an awesome God and am so blessed by what He is doing in my life and my marriage. The day my husband told me he wanted a divorce, was one of the worst days of my life. I had made the decision to leave him, but knew that divorce was not what God wanted for us, nor did I. I had spent several months in counseling and had worked through many old wounds that had plagued me and my relationship with my husband throughout our marriage.

Together, he and I made the decision to work on our marriage, to honor the vows we made before God almost 20 years earlier. We immediately went into counseling and began the work, with our Family Pastor's help, to learn the reasons behind the failure of our marriage and how God could change both of us in ways that would create a stronger bond between us. I can see God’s hand in every detail and I know that He will guide us through this process and our marriage will be great!

When I left my husband, I felt like our marriage was dead. I was without hope. He and I had drifted apart and the wall between us seemed impenetrable. It was a decision that I made after a lot of thought and a lot of prayer. I felt, at the time, there was no other choice I could make – we were both so unhappy.

God heals our hearts in many ways, through many people. I know that the counseling I received this year, through Julie - a wonderfully caring, Godly woman, helped me so much. I believe that God placed her in my life at a time when I needed His help and guidance more than I had ever needed it before. She helped me to revisit old wounds, see them for what they were and leave them behind – in the past – where they belong. She helped me to understand how I had come to the place where she met me.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

John 10:10

I know that satan had worked to bring unhappiness and resentment into our marriage. I know that he smiled when I left Jody. He’s not the only “thief” that worked to bring an end to my marriage, but satan definitely had his hand in each and every temptation that presented itself.

We demolish arguments and every pretension

that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

Jody and I are working very hard – together – to make our marriage a union that is pleasing before God. God is and will continue to bring about healing and restoration. He wants to be the priority in our lives, our First Love. He is where Jody and I have laid our hearts, pleading for restoration and a more perfect marriage, even though a perfect marriage doesn’t mean one without trials or temptations, with God at the head of our union, we will succeed.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Good News - We're WE again!

But may the God of all grace,
who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus,
after you have suffered a while,
perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.
I Peter 5:10

I serve an awesome God and he heard my plea and heard the prayers of friends and family as we prayed for my marriage. My husband and I have committed to work together to rebuild our marriage and to give it to God in all that we do!

We met last week with our Family Pastor at church and he will be working with us on a weekly basis to help. This has been a very difficult year for both my husband and myself, but I know that with God leading us, we will be able to work through the issues that caused us to separate and that we will be stronger together!

We've already had some "a ha!" moments and it's amazing what God is doing in our relationship. We made the commitment on Tuesday last week and things are so much better . . . good, in fact - not perfect, but good!

The pastor gave us each a book to read before our next meeting and the books are full of great information that I know will help us. I have certainly had my eyes opened to a lot already!

I always wanted our marriage to work, but never knew how very much I wanted it until we reached rock bottom! Many things have transpired during this past eight months while we were separated, but none of it is too big for God. We have both been very open and honest with each other and that provides a security that neither of us felt for a very long time. I have faith that we will, with our Lord's guidance, get through it all!

At church on Sunday, the pastor started a new series on prayer. It seemed like he was speaking to us. We are working together to make our prayer life stronger which will also make us better and stronger.

God is good and it feels great to know that both my husband and I are committed to renewing our marriage and to make it everything that it should be . . . and to glorify God in all things!

In His Love and Blessings
annb