I Am A Defender!

One of the areas in my life that still needs some definite work is my defensiveness against people who have hurt someone I love. I'm afraid I am a bit aggressive when it comes to defending those who are most important in my life.

Sometimes in defending my "loves" I end up coming on so strong that I offend or hurt the person who I feel has committed the offense against "mine"! That really is not my intention. I start out just wanting them to understand the hurt they have caused because I feel like if you can talk about problems . . . they can be resolved!

Not always so! It seems there are people who believe they have no fault in hurting others - no matter what the situation. I guess they just think it's the injured person's responsibility to "get over it" - which is not always easy!

I am (slowly) learning that just because I want to defend my family and friends - it's not always practical. Depending on the person who has caused the hurt and that person's continued "hurtful" behavior - there may be no resolution! In that case, I resolve, from this day, to stop defending . . . at least to those same people.

That doesn't mean I won't still be saddened by the hurt inflicted or by the affect it has on those I love, but I will choose not to share those feelings with those people who have decided it doesn't matter to them. My actions to defend those I love having no impact, but angering or hurting the offender - does nothing to help anyone! Big news, right?!

I've never understood why people choose to ignore issues that can cause deep problems in their relationships. I guess it's because of the way my parents taught me to talk things out before they could become an issue. I'm glad they taught me those things because I know it makes a huge difference! I've just had to learn that it doesn't always make a difference to others.

I don't want to hurt others. I try to see them through God's eyes, even though I've not perfected this in my life! I am still a work in progress and hope that I continue to learn for the rest of my life.

Because of trauma that I've lived through in the past I sometimes believe that others will be as hurt as I once was by actions and words against them and that's just not the way I need to look at every situation. Each person deals with hurt in their own way and that's what I have begun to understand more fully.

Thank you, God, for forgiveness and mercy.

Thank you, Father, that my heart has been opened

and accepting of Your truths.

I pray that I will be open to allowing the Holy Spirit to speak

through me in all areas of my life and

to think about every word before it is spoken!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

From Grandma to Teacher!!

Today Elizabeth started back to school and I became sole caregiver to our little daycare kids. I absolutely love the kids and have been around them for a long time. They know me, but not as primary caregiver. I have always been "grandma" to them.

Today one of the boys (we have two boys and four girls in daycare), decided he was going to "try" me and find out if I would still be "grandma" or if I would be like his preschool teacher, Miss Liz. Normally, the kids would look to me if they were in trouble or if they got a boo-boo and needed a kiss. They would also come to me for snuggles and hugs which, by the way is one of my favorite times, too!

I'm still there for snuggles and hugs and to kiss the boo-boos, but now I also have to be "teacher". The other kids seemed to be fine with it, but not my one little guy, Z. He decided no matter what I said, no matter what he knew he was supposed to do . . . or was told to do, he would not comply! I'm afraid to say he spent some serious "thinking time" in the time-out chair. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.

The kids are all great - really great! Even my little guy who wanted to test me today! I couldn't ask for a better group of kids to care for and the parents are great, too!

Z's antics today reminded me of how I, at times, test God. Those times that I choose to knowingly make choices that are not always in alignment with His teachings. I'm so thankful that God is merciful and He is full of grace . . . for me, even though I certainly don't deserve it.

As I have "matured", I make better choices (most of the time) and truly want to be the best me that I can be for the Lord. I'm human and I'm not always strong - but I also know that He is my strength - if I allow Him to be!

Every choice I make, every choice I ever made, brings consequences. Poor choices usually result in poor consequences . . . as I well know from my own experience. I am now very focused on making choices that will bring about the best consequences - even if that means leaving behind those people, places and things that cause me distress or weakness.

I believe that God places people in our lives as we need them. The people that come into our lives provide "something" that we need at that particular time but may not be people that will remain with us for our entire life! I truly believe that some people fill a need and once that need has been fulfilled may no longer have a necessary purpose in our lives.

This past year I've learned so much and know that people that bring me down, cause me to doubt myself or who reject or hurt me are not people I should keep around me. I can best serve the Lord when I am strong, convicted and content in my surroundings.

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me"
Psalm 138:8

Father, I pray that You will lead me, in all ways, through this life. Please help me to recognize who and what I should surround myself with so that my heart is open to You! Please help me to be everything that You, Lord, want me to be! I trust You with my life and put my faith and my hope in You!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

25 Random Things About Me!

25 Random Things About Me

You’ve probably seen this floating around and I have now been tagged by two friends to do my own list. 25 things sure seems like a lot to share about myself – especially since I don’t share a lot about me, but here goes!

1. I love the Lord and put my faith and trust in Him – not in this world!

2. I am number four of six children. I have two sisters and three brothers.

3. I was married to my husband, Jody, on Valentine’s Day, 1989.

4. This is not my first marriage – I was previously married to a drug dealer and an alcoholic and spent most of that time bruised and battered from domestic abuse.

5. I was stalked by my first husband after I left him and had to file a VPO (which, unfortunately, did not keep him away!)

6. I have two (biological) children – Elizabeth, 28 (from my first marriage) and Chance, 19.

From Left: Me, Candace, Chance, Elizabeth, Toni

7. I have a very close relationship with my daughter, Elizabeth. I believe she saved my life by giving me the strength to leave my husband after he hit me when I was four months pregnant. She also says that I saved her life that day, as well!

8. I have a great relationship with my son, too. He is very independent and we clashed a lot during his 18th year – due to that independence. He wears a (tall) Mohawk, has “snake bites” (two lower lip rings) and recently got a tattoo. Once I was able to “let go” of mothering him and just love him, things are awesome!

9. I have a close relationship with my granddaughter, Addyson, 7 years old (Elizabeth’s daughter). Elizabeth has always made her available to me which has provided great quality time for us!



10. I have two stepdaughters – Toni, 29 and Candace, 26.

11. I have four grandchildren from them – Blake, age 9 (Toni’s) and Levi, age 6, Joey, age 5 and Abigail, who will turn 1 on Feb 11 (Candace’s three). I don’t see them as much as I would like to, but love them all!



12. I love my stepdaughters and have been blessed to have them in my life. Our relationships, unfortunately, changed after I left Jody and we were separated for 8 months this past year. I pray that we can come together again as a family!

13. Jody and I decided that neither of us was ready to give up our marriage and came back together, are in counseling with our Family Pastor at church and are both dedicated to making our marriage stronger and better than ever under God’s direction!

14. Both of my parents are deceased – my Dad passed away in 1994 and my Mom passed away in Feb, 2007 in my home.



15. I quit my job in 2006 to become 24 hour caregiver to my Mom after moving her in with us. She suffered from sudden onset dementia and most days did not even know who I was, but it was the most rewarding experience of my life!

16. I was an x-ray technician in the Oklahoma Air National Guard – in my younger years! I went through basic training and tech school and actually made it through all of it!

17. I graduated from high school in a class of 22 students in 1976.
My 20 year High School Reunion (I am front row, third from left)

18. Between the ages of 12 and 18, I had at least one surgery per year – eight to remove tumors and two other surgeries to remove other “stuff”.

19. I jumped on the Phen-Fen craze in 1995 and, as a result, damaged my heart and developed asthma. I will be on medication for the rest of my life.

20. I also battle depression – but am winning that battle thanks to God’s healing power and a great psychiatrist and counselor who are both Christians!

21. I do not eat sugar – not in the last 5 ½ years.

22. I will be taking over Elizabeth’s daycare as of next Tuesday. I became a licensed daycare provider two weeks ago. Elizabeth is returning to Duncan Brothers Barber College to finish her hours and get her license.

23. Jody and I are living with Elizabeth and her husband, Michael in their converted garage and will be here until Elizabeth finishes school. We have rented out our house in Choctaw to Candace and her family.

24. I am a country girl at heart and, once Elizabeth finishes school, Jody and I will be looking for a great country place to make our home! We want lots of room to garden, keep neighbors at a distance and just enjoy the quiet life!

25. I am a homebody, not very adventurous, not well traveled – just an ordinary person living an ordinary life (now!). I don’t live to please other people – am my own person living in a way that, I pray, is glorifying to God! I am still learning each and every day and am thankful to have learned so much about myself over the past year!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Kevin . . . at WalMart?

Today started off just like any normal day! I got up around 4:30 am, watched the news, had my coffee and started my day . . . just like every other day!

This afternoon I had to make a run to WalMart and decided that rather than going to one of the two stores we have here in Norman, I would take a little drive and go to the WalMart in Moore – Norman’s next door neighbor. I haven’t done this at all since living here – always go to the store here in Norman.

When I got to the store I was doing my shopping and noticed that people were lined up all the way down the middle of the store! You’ll never guess why they were lined up! Okay, I’ll tell you. Kevin Costner was in the middle of the store . . . signing autographs and taking pictures!

Now, this had to be the time that I left my phone at home – so I couldn’t even take a picture! I couldn’t believe it! I stood not six feet away from him! It was pretty exciting (I don’t get out of the house much!), but really – it was Kevin Costner!

Sunday evening we had watched the movie Swing Vote (which was pretty good, by the way). It really made my day to see him in person today! I was really close again, as he left – through the back door – surrounded by several police officers, WalMart personnel and quite a few others that I guessed were his crew.

Anyway, that was my excitement for the day. When I first got home and told Elizabeth and Michael, they didn’t believe me – who can blame them? Kevin Costner in Moore, Oklahoma?!

Yeah, he was here and I saw him!

You can read about it here at NewsOK.com

Kevin Costner will perform in Oklahoma City's Bricktown in February
By Gene Triplett - Entertainment Editor
Published: December 11, 2008Buzz up!

The star of "Field of Dreams," "The Upside of Anger" and Oscar-winning director of "Dances with Wolves" is bringing his country music side project to Bricktown's Wormy Dog Saloon at 8:30 p.m. Feb. 3.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

"Pray for Me, Pray for Others"

We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request.

Once again, I have been touched by a blogging friend – whose family is also in my church – and wanted to share with you what this amazing family has done!

The Riggs family, . . . Where Laughter Lives”, whose little girl has leukemia and is now going through the most life-threatening phase of her cancer treatment, has started a Wednesday edition post titled “Pray for Me, Pray for Others” on their blog. This family is going through so much, and yet their focus is God and sharing their faith and love for Him with others. As others are praying for them, they also want to pray for you. The new Wednesday edition will allow us, as a community, to share our prayer needs and those of others on their blog and allow us to pray for each other. Please visit here for all the details.

I have been praying for little Abby and for the family for some time and have requested prayers, from readers before, but I am especially asking now. Abby has been quite ill these past few days and today began throwing up blood. She needs God’s healing touch and comforting hand so much, as does her family.

Brent and Michelle, Abby’s parents have posted this new edition on their blog and the value of “Pray for Me, Pray for Others” is so great that I want to share with everyone who may visit my site. Please pray for the Riggs family and allow others to pray for any needs you have in your life. I think this will be a great forum for all of us!

In own words:
From Michelle:
Even before Abby became sick, prayer was one of the most important things in my life. I took the Bible's admonition to pray without ceasing literally and ran with it. While I can be quiet in social settings, it is natural to me to keep a running dialog with God, as I go through my day. Life goes so much better when I am focused on serving God and on praying for OTHERS.

I love that people are praying for Abby. You are such a blessing to Abby and our family. But, because what we are going through with Abby is so hard, SO BIG, most people aren't sharing requests with us as much they used to. I really miss praying for things that are on the hearts of others.

I love to pray for both "big" and "small" things. Seeing God bless us by taking care of those little details is a beautiful reminder to me of how much He loves us and how He is watching over us.

One example of this in my life was yesterday when I was instructed by Abby's doctor to bring her in for a blood transfusion, during an ice storm. Abby needed to get to the hospital, but Brent was home with the other children and I was with Abby, 20 miles away, at a doctor's office. With the sun going down, the roads were refreezing. Oklahomans get few opportunities to drive on ice, so I was out of practice and everyone else driving was out of practice too.

Many of you prayed that God would keep us safe while we were driving and He did. Praise God. But what you didn't know was how He provided for us. One of my best friends, Toni, called to check on us, and when she heard what was going on, she offered to drive us to the hospital, stay with us during the transfusion (usually 6-8 hours) and drive us home. Toni moved to Oklahoma a couple of years ago, from Alaska. So we not we not only got to spend some time with one of our favorite people, we were driven by someone who cut her teeth driving on snow and ice.

While Abby was getting the transfusion, Toni read stories to Abby, colored with her and made her feel like a princess. Once Abby was asleep, Toni and I were able to talk. A rare treat when you have a house full of little people. An night that we could have just endured, turned into a blessing. Thank you Toni. You are the best. Don't you love how God takes care of those little details, too?

Would you let us pray for you? I would love to hear what is on your heart and to pray for each of you.

My incredibly talented husband is setting things up so that it will be easy to read everyone's requests, in list form, but so you can also link your blog to ours, so that you can leave more details for us to read and hopefully some pictures too.

Thank you again for praying for our family. I hope you will allow us to pray for you, too.

From Brent:
One goal we have for our blog, is that it becomes a real community of people. One of the trademarks of a community is that people know each other, help each other and pray for each other.

On Wednesdays, we are going to do Pray for Me... Pray for Others to help build the sense of community for our readers.

Because we are blessed with a large community of readers, we know you most likely can't pray for every single need or person on this list, especially as it grows. But by looking over this list on Wednesdays... all of us can pray as God leads us and we can know that each needs is probably being prayed for by a lot of people. This particular feature is near to the heart of my beautiful Bride, so you can know she will be praying for you.

Pray for Me... Pray for Others is pretty simple: list a short prayer request for YOU, and a link for more detail if needed. Then submit a prayer request for someone else, or some other situation that you know about. Include a link for them if available. Be specific.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Fight FOCA

BREAKING: Obama Checks First Task Off Abortion Agenda, Overturns Mexico City Policy
Obama waited until after 5:00PM on a Friday to hold a "quiet ceremony" to repeal an important pro-life policy established by President Reagan. He hoped no one would notice, but you can read all about it here on the SBA List website. From: Susan B. Anthony List

One of the regular blogs I read - I Am Heading Towards My Destiny - is the site of Beth of NC. When I visited her site today, I found this and knew that I wanted to sign the petition and also pass on the information. This is important information to anyone who is pro-life and I hope you will visit Beth and the other sites listed and maybe, if you feel led to do so, sign the petition.

Sign the Fight FOCA Petition

Barack Obama is now the incoming President.

And he made a promise to Planned Parenthood last year they expect him to keep.

"The first thing I’d do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act. That’s the first thing I’d do." (You can see the video here!)

The Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) would eliminate every restriction on abortion nationwide.
. . . FOCA will do away with state laws on parental involvement, on partial birth abortion, and on all other protections.
. . . FOCA will compel taxpayer funding of abortions.
. . . FOCA will force faith-based hospitals and healthcare facilities to perform abortions.

Barack Obama believes this legislation will "end the culture wars." To him, "ending the culture wars" means eradicating every state and federal law on abortion — laws that the majority of Americans support.

Americans United for Life (AUL), a pro-life law and policy organization, has prepared an analysis of the "Freedom of Choice Act." Please click here to read AUL Vice President & Legal Director Denise Burke’s analysis of this horrendous legislation.

The time to Fight FOCA is now. With Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid in charge of Congress, we can expect a fight over FOCA to begin as soon as the next Congress begins.

Please add your name to the Fight FOCA petition and let your friends know about President-Elect Barack Obama’s promise to expand abortion throughout the country.

Beth posted a letter (which is worth reading) she received from
Marjorie Dannenfelser
Susan B. Anthony List President
703-875-3370www.sba-list.org
Check out the SBA blog: http://www.suzyb.org/

It's a great post and I know that you'll be blessed when you visit Beth and read all the information she is sharing.

Modesty-What happened?

Matthew 6

25-26"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

27-29"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out.

One of the tools Jody and I are using, as we give our marriage to God, were given to us by our Family pastor - are books written by Shaunti Feldhahn “for women only” and the book “for men only” written by Shaunti Feldhahn and Jeff Feldhahn. I have read “for women only” and found it to be a really great book and full of valuable information for wives.

Here’s an excerpt from the back cover of the book:
“In a woman-to-woman conversation you’ll never forget, Shaunti Feldhahn takes you beneath the surface into the inner lives of men. This book is about the things we just don’t “get” about guys. With findings from a groundbreaking national survey and personal interviews of over one thousand men, “For Women Only” is full of eye-opening revelations you need to not only understand the man in your life, but to support and love him in the way he needs to be loved. Grounded in biblical hope, you will discover how to love your man for who he really is – not who you think he is.”

The book covers a lot of areas, but the chapter I really want to write about today is titled Keeper of the Visual Rolodex. This chapter talks about the fact that men are visual creatures and are instinctively pulled to look at attractive women and these visions can be as alluring to a man at the time of the actual vision or even when brought up in their mind later.

One of the things Ms Feldhahn says is:
. . . First, a woman who is dressed to show off a great body is an “eye magnet” that is incredibly difficult to avoid, and even if a man forces himself not to look, he is acutely aware of her presence.
. . . Second, even when no such eye magnet is present, each man as a “mental Rolodex” of stored images that can intrude into his thoughts without warning or can be called up at will.

Of the 1,000 men surveyed, 98% responded that when an “eye-catching” woman is seen they “can’t not be attracted”. The results were essentially the same for all men – even those who described themselves as happily married.

I’ve heard all my life (and for the most part believed), that men think about s*x a great majority of the time. Ms. Feldhahn discovered during her interviews that they not only think about it, but visualize it, as well and sometimes those pictures were not of their wives. “They are often images that have been involuntarily burned in their brains just by living in today’s cultures—images that can arise without warning.” The men also explained that sometimes the images pop up in their brain without warning, even if they are unwanted.

We live, today, in a s*x-filled culture where just living in this world, we are inundated with s*xual images. Modesty has become a bad word, it seems with so many!

I believe it is our responsibility, as women, to dress and adorn ourselves in a way that does not cause a man to stumble. Of course, there will be those men who still visualize scenarios of attractive women and that has nothing to do with, but many times the images come as a result of scantily dressed women – revealing a lot of skin or wearing form-fitting clothing.

This chapter was not written to “bash” men, but to explain the nature of men. Many men, being visual, may be easily tempted – which is normal. Temptations are not sins as we see in the 4th chapter of Matthew, when Jesus was tempted by Satan. Jesus is without sin and yet he was tempted.

Every man (and woman) can make a choice which is the difference between temptation and sin. When a man sees an attractive woman or recalls an earlier memory of a vision, he can either continue to think about it and might even begin to bring other thoughts into the forefront of his memory – or he can immediately put down those thoughts and, as the Bible puts it, “take every thought captive,”.

Ms. Feldhahn also says, “Unfortunately, I can guarantee that many adult women are fodder for the mental Rolodex of some devoted married man just because of how they dress. It’s natural to enjoy being noticed, but he doesn’t want you in there. You’re cluttering up a good husband’s mind and tempting him to dishonor his wife. It is our responsibility, as women, to ensure that, as much as it depends on us, this doesn’t happen. In past days, men had to actually seek out visual temptations, but today – they are everywhere and impossible to avoid!"

I know that I will be much more aware of how I am dressed and “adorned” before I leave my house, especially now that I am aware of the things stressed in this book. How do you feel about this subject? Do you make it a point to dress yourself modestly and to cover yourself appropriately? I would like to hear your thoughts and comments and I also highly recommend this book for any woman who wants to better understand her husband!

In His Love and Blessings
annb