Thursday Thirteen #8

Thirteen Things I Learned From My Parents


Mom and Dad - 1947


Mom and Dad - 1993

1… God First! When you put God first in your life everything else will fall into place. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have trials and disappointments, or that nothing bad will happen in your life – it means that you are able to lay all your burdens at the feet of our Lord and He will give you comfort and peace that comes only through Him.

2… Marriage is a “commitment”! When you marry you commit your life to another person, putting that person before all others - except before God. When you have problems in the marriage, you both work together to resolve the problems – not dissolving the marriage due to “irreconcilable differences”. I also learned through my own experience that a commitment to marriage has to be made by both partners. Marriage does not mean commitment to a lifetime of abuse by a partner who does not share a belief in the Lord.

(15) “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. (16) How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?” I Corinthians 7:15 & 16

3… Love for your spouse changes. My Mom and Dad were married for 47 years when my Dad passed away. My Mom taught me that the love she had for my Dad changed many times over those years. She told me that at one point during their marriage they had a very difficult time and she had to learn to love him all over again. I know that’s where commitment comes into the picture. I remember hearing on the radio once someone asked Paul Newman how he and his wife had remained married for such a long time and he answered, “Because we promised.”

4… Family is important! Growing up, I always knew that my family would be there for me no matter what! We rejoiced together during good times and we stood by each other during difficult times. I remember, as a child, we regularly went to our grandparents’ homes to help out with things my grandparents were no longer able to do by themselves. We usually went once a month to one or the other. When we would go to my Dad’s parents there would always be at least one other of my Dad’s brothers’ family there to help also. We had regular family reunions on both sides and grew up knowing everyone in the family. I know that even to this day if I needed help I could ask anyone on either my Dad’s side or my Mom’s side of the family and they would be there for me. What a great blessing!

5… “Instant” children are as great as birth children! Both of my older brothers married women who each had one child. My parents and our entire family took in the “instant” children as if we had always known them! They were a part of our family from the beginning. When I married Jody, who already had two daughters, there was never a question that the girls became a part of our family immediately. I love my stepdaughters as if they were my own and I know the rest of my family feels the same way as well.

6… Children should be raised together by parents! Parents should be unified in their beliefs on child rearing. Children need boundaries and when parents are able to work together teaching their children and loving their children - responsible, productive adults will surely be the result!

7… Discipline of children hurts parents, too. I remember as a child when my Dad would spank us, he would say “This hurts me more than it hurts you”. When I became a parent, I understood the meaning of those words. I’m not sure they were totally accurate when I was a child, but I’m sure they had great meaning!

8… Riches don’t come only from money! We were a family of seven until the five of us kids were teenagers and another child was born making us a family of eight. My Mom and Dad both graduated high school and my Mom even had some college, but they both worked hard, blue collar jobs, in order to just make ends meet. We never had much money, we were probably poverty level, but I never knew that growing up. The vacations we took existed mostly of camping trips at the lake. We always had fun and didn’t know we couldn’t take any other kind of vacation because there was no money for extras. We never had extravagant meals – lots of beans and potatoes, but we always had food to eat. I’m thankful for the way I grew up. I think it made me aware of what’s really important in this life.

9… Eight hours work for eight hours pay! My Mom and Dad both worked outside of the home. They taught us, by example, that as an employee, you have a responsibility to your employer. That responsibility includes being at work when scheduled and putting in a full day – not playing while on the job.

10.. Gossip is wrong! My parents raised us to be good listeners and able to keep to ourselves things told to us in confidence. We grew up to know that it is wrong to talk about people behind their back. We were taught that if we had a problem with another person, we should go to that person and tell them – because whatever was said or done may not have been done in the way it was taken.

"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. Matthew 18:15

11.. Car maintenance. Before my Dad would let us drive a car, both boys and girls, we had to learn how to change a tire, check the oil and water and know how to drive with a standard transmission. I remember once having to drive my Dad’s truck home from school. The truck was a standard and the gears would stick. When the gears stuck, you had to open the hood – which at that time was not done with a handy little pull inside the car – beat on the gear box with a hammer and then the truck would shift gears again! How many new drivers these days have an experience like that?!

12.. How to cook. Since my Mom and Dad both worked, they worked different shifts so that one of them was home with us kids all the time. My Mom, for a while, worked evenings and us kids would have to prepare the meal for supper. I’m afraid my poor Dad probably got some pretty bad meals until we finally learned how to cook, but I don’t remember him complaining much about the food. My brothers even learned to cook and still cook for their families today. I remember my brother, Gerry, used to bake for our school lunches. He liked to bake cakes and use food coloring in the batter to make grossly colored cakes which we had to take in our lunch. We couldn’t afford to throw away good food! Sometimes the look of the cake was pretty embarrassing, even though it never seemed to bother him!

13... We all make mistakes! The mistakes we make in our lives do not determine who we become. The past is the past and can never be changed. The future belongs to you and can be whatever you decide you want it to be! God is a loving God and forgives our sins, but we humans are less able to forget – even if we forgive! Unkind words, unkind actions – once carried through can never be taken back - so think before speaking!



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