It IS my life

It’s been a long time since I posted – felt like I had nothing worthy to post about!!  Well, I’ve decided that I really enjoy blogging and am going to try to get back to regularly doing so.  I may post about things that don’t seem “worthy of blogging” to anyone else but me and that will be okay!

These last three years have been difficult and hard to accept, but I finally (really) feel like I am ready to get on with my life . . . or build a new one . . . or at least, live!  My life has taken turns that I never expected and thankfully, God has been there and carried me through those parts that I could not make it through alone.

I am thankful!  I am blessed beyond measure and want to have an “attitude of gratitude” each and every day!  I have Elizabeth, Michael, Chance and Jenn in my life and they lovingly share their babies with me.  I am (finally) in a place I can call my own and really like where I’m living.  It’s small, it’s cozy, it’s pretty quiet and I feel safe!  I have a great job!  I am now the HR Director and I love every aspect of my position with this amazing company.  God has truly blessed me – so much more than I deserve!

Work has been pretty crazy for a while now – busy, busy and busier!!  We host an annual Open House event and this year was a record in attendance.  We generally have a theme for the Open House and this year our President chose the theme and it turned out to be more than we could have imagined.  The theme was “Til They All Come Home” in honor of soldiers everywhere, but especially those from the Oklahoma National Guard.  Earlier this year, about 3,400 troops were deployed for training and then on to Afghanistan.  This was the biggest deployment Oklahoma has had since the Korean War and we wanted to help bring awareness to as many as we could through our Open House.

We have planned, over the next year, to do some things for the troops and for the families left behind, that will make a difference to many!  It’s a great thing our company is doing and I’m proud to be a part of it!

My grandbabies just keep growing and growing and I’m thankful to spend time with them and be a part of their lives.  Michael and Elizabeth are looking at adoption to enhance their family.  They have been approved through DHS for three years, have had referrals but nothing has come to fruition.  They are now planning to adopt a child from China within the next year.  I look forward to having more grandchildren.  I think Chance and Jenn will wait a while for more children, but they are doing a good job with Cadence. 

This pretty much sums up my life for now – work and kids!  I love it and never get tired of either!

"Spa Day"

Today Michael  and Elizabeth (and of course, Ava) had some shopping to do and Addy decided she wanted to stay home with me.  We decided it would be a perfect day for the two of us to share a "Spa Day"!

We gave each other shoulder massages, manicures, pedicures and fixed each other's hair and did each other's make-up!  As you can see from the picture, we had a great time and don't we look great!

I'm so thankful that I am able to spend time with Elizabeth's girls.  Grandkids are a special gift from God and I cherish each moment I have with them. 

My Own Parking Space

This past two years has brought many changes in my life.  Some good, some not good!  I'm so thankful to have a relationship with God.

This past year God has blessed me in so many ways!  I am finding who I am and finding that I am a capable, strong woman.  I actually like myself so much more than I did in the past.  I feel that I am becoming my true self once again and it's a place I feel most comfortable!

In October last year I started a new job - with a roofing company!  I started part-time, just a couple of days a week and am now full-time wearing many hats!  I never knew that I would love the roofing industry as much as I do, nor did I know there was so much involved!

I am an executive assistant to the Safety and HR manager.  He's a great boss and has also become a good friend.  I feel very "at home" where I am in my job!  The president of the company is great too . . . and, oh yeah he's my brother!  I feel honored to work with him everyday and I'm learning so much!

And . . . I have my own parking space!

I've never had my own personal parking space before!  What do you think?

A couple of weeks ago, my brother sent me to Florida for some training.  I was in Delray Beach for a full week and it was beautiful!  My hotel was two blocks from the beach and 7 blocks from school.  I walked everywhere I went in town and loved every minute of it - although the first day I walked to class, I carried my backpack with my laptop inside.  By the time I made it to class, I was pretty tired of carrying it.  I weighed it and it weighed 22 LBS!  I left my laptop at the hotel every day after that - much more enjoyable walk!

Here's the view from my hotel room!

I also took pictures of the drawbridge (which I walked over everytime I went to class).  We don't really have drawbridges in Oklahoma - at least that I've ever seen and I knew my granddaughter would like to see it.  It opened every day about 7:45am, as I walked TO class and then again about 4:45pm as I walked back to the hotel after class.

The training was great!  I learned how to read blueprints, a lot of roofing terminology, how to draw plans to scale and a LOT about the different types of roofs.  Where I work we do only commercial roofs - no residential, so it's really interesting to me.

God has truly blessed me and I am thankful!

In His Love and Blessings annb

I may be back!

Never can be sure, but I may be back.  I haven't posted in a very long time, but it's really because I just haven't had much to say.  Things are going well - really well for me and I feel blessed that God has carried me through the past two years.

I am working - since October last year.  I have an amazing job and enjoy getting up every morning to go to work!  I started out part time - two days a week.  Then, I went to four days a week and have been full time for several months now.

I am an assistant to the Director of Safety and HR and have learned so much about the industry for which I now belong to with this company.  My boss is great and has become a good friend.  It feels like it's been a very long time since I felt "comfortable".

My daughter and her husband, my daughter's girls and my son have been so great to me all this time and I'm just not sure what I would have done without them.  Thankfully, that was never a worry!

I'm thankful that I've been able to spend such close, quality time with them but am beginning to feel that I'm ready to start planning - within this next year - to make my own home.  I am now at a place financially and emotionally that I know I can handle living alone.

God is good and I am blessed!

In His Love and Blessings

My Last Post

I've decided to take a break from blogging (like I haven't already!). This is my last post - for a while or longer - haven't decided. I'm thankful for the friendships I made with other bloggers - they mean a lot to me.

In His Love and Blessings
annb

65 Questions

Leslie (my niece) tagged me on Facebook for this fun(?) little survey! Here goes, Leslie!

65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked

...you know the rules. Tag people in this note (including the person who tagged you!) to learn more about your friends.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? My face

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Dark Pink

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Of course – it was one of the daycare babies!

4. Do you plan outfits? Only if I’m going out, otherwise I want clean and comfortable!

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? content

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red? Red letters on Bowflex

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having: It was a nightmare and I don’t want to think about it again!

8. Did you meet anybody new today? No

9. What are you craving right now? Nothing

10. Do you floss daily? Yes

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Mmmmm – love cooked cabbage

12. Are you emotional? I am – even commercials on tv sometimes make me cry: Hallmark, Maxwell House coffee, etc.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Only if I was counting money, so not often!

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Don’t eat ice cream

15. Do you like your hair? Sometimes

16. Do you like yourself? I’m working on it!

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? I would – I would love to sit and talk with him!

18. What are you listening to right now? TV

19. Are your parents strict? They were – now that I’m over 50 I pretty much make up my own mind!

20. Would you go sky diving? Maybe out of the back of a pick-up truck!

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Love it!

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Yes – a long time ago at a Comedy Club – Pat Paulson – even got his autograph Also met Daven Joseph, Tampa Buccaneers – up close and personal

23. Do you rent movies often? Not often

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? Yes, but I have all my "sparkly stuff" hidden way!

25. How many countries have you visited? I have never set foot outside of the USA

26. Have you made a prank phone call? I’m afraid so – as a kid!

27. Ever been on a train? Once – in Hugo, OK

28. Brown or white eggs? Both

29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yes

30. Do you use Chap Stick? Definitely – well, usually another brand

31. Do you own a gun? Does a staple gun count?

32. Can you use chop sticks? Very well – I just stab the food with it and pick it up

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Myself – Michael, Elizabeth and Addy are home, but I am in my room

34. Are you too forgiving? I forgive, but find it hard to forget some things. I work on this daily

35. Ever been in love? I thought so

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Working

37. Ever have cream puffs? I have not eaten sugar in over 6 years – I probably had some before then

38. Last time you cried? Yesterday

39. What was the last question you asked? Do you have a needle? Addy likes to get scraps of material from me to “sew” and she was getting some thread and scissors to sew tonight

40. Favorite time of the year? I love Fall for the colors, but I also love Spring because of the beautiful greens, Winter is actually pretty too – if there’s snow and summer’s nice until the grass turns brown! Hmm, I guess I like them all!

41. Do you have any tattoos? No

42. Are you sarcastic? I am and have to be selective when I use it because it takes certain people with a certain type of personality to appreciate real sarcasm

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? No

44. Ever walked into a wall? Only once????

45. Favorite color? I love color and don’t have a real favorite

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Yes

47. Is your hair curly? No – maybe a little wavy since I’ve gotten older

48. What was the last CD you bought? I don’t even know – it’s been a long time

49. Do looks matter? Not nearly as much as what’s inside!

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I did – but thinks didn’t work out for other reasons

51. Is your phone bill sky high? I don’t have a phone bill of my own, but rarely use my cell phone and don’t have a home phone

52. Do you like your life right now? I can say I’m content. My life has changed a lot in the past year and a half and I’m still adjusting!

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No

54. Can you handle the truth? I would like to say yes, but honestly, there are times that I struggle with the truth

55. Do you have good vision? Yes, I do have good distance vision (after laser eye surgery about 8 years ago), but I do sometimes have to wear reading glasses.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I don’t hate anyone. There are people whose actions I hate or dislike, but not the person

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Not often...I don’t enjoy talking on the phone – face to face or email for me

58. The last person you held hands with? Addy

59. What are you wearing? Black knit pants and dark green t-shirt

60.What is your favorite animal? I like animals – as long as they live somewhere other than my house

61. Where was your default picture taken at? J C Penney Portrait Studios – Dec 2008

62. Can you hula hoop? With the Wii – I can’t in real life (tried it with Addy’s)

63. Do you have a job? I have been unemployed since July last year – I do help Elizabeth with her in-home daycare

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Sonic - Diet Dr Pepper

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes, but don’t tell anyone! Ssshhhh

If you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged. If you want to play, please let me know once you post your answers – I’d love to read them and learn more about you!

Daddy's Rules Were Not Made To Be Broken!!

When I was younger – much, much younger – girls at our house did not mow the yard! My Dad said that was work for the boys only! Of course, before the boys could actually mow, the girls’ job was to go out first , check the yard for anything that could be thrown by the mower – rocks, sticks, etc. – and clean all of it up! This was to ensure that the boys were not injured while mowing. I never really understood why if the boys were going to mow why they couldn’t first check the yard for hazards! Oh, well!

One of Daddy’s firm rules when mowing was to always wear jeans and tennis shoes – no shorts or flip-flops allowed! We didn’t actually call them flip-flops then, but those of you who were around at that time know by what name they were called!

I grew up actually loving to be outside and working in the yard! I have been doing yard work on my own for a very long time and have gotten away from Daddy’s rules. I do try to pick up any hazards before I mow . . . or at least those that I can reach as I mow! I like to wear my shorts, tank top and . . . you guessed it – flip-flops!! How else could I also get some sun while I’m in the yard?

I’ve been reminded many times why the rules still apply and yet, each time I mow – I set those rules aside . . . for the “sun exposure” you know! Because Michael and Elizabeth live in a housing addition in town, I decided about a month ago that I would not only trim the hedges, trim the trees and clean the leaves out of the “rock” beds, I would edge the yard next to the sidewalk, driveway and curb in order to show that we, too, care about our lawn as much as the neighbors do (who of course, always edge their yards).

I have always lived in the country or in an apartment (mostly country) and we never edged! Actually there were no curbs, paved driveways or sidewalks – therefore, no need to edge! Anyway, I got the weed-eater out to edge and I broke it – even before I started! Deciding that certainly would not stop me, I edged the entire yard with a kitchen knife! Yes, a kitchen knife! One of our neighbors felt so bad for me, he gave me a full bag of fertilizer! Thanks, Mr. K!

Anyway, weed-eater fixed now! Yesterday when I went out to do my weekly yard work, I wore – yup, again the shorts, tank top and flip-flops! As I went about my work, I had stuff thrown at my legs and my feet the entire time I was edging and weed-eating! This morning, they looked and felt pretty banged up.

Moral of this story – Daddy made rules for a reason! I’m seriously considering jeans and tennis shoes next time!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Living - Where I Am Now!

1947


1992

Today is the 62nd anniversary of my Mom and Dad’s marriage. Of course, they have both passed away, but I’ve thought about them a lot today. I miss them both so much and especially my mom right now as I go through the changes taking place in my life. I remember how much my mom missed her own mother after she passed away. I never really understood the depth of her feelings until that evening that my mom went home to be with the Lord.

I’ve been in a little bit of a “funk” today – I guess missing them, knowing it is their anniversary and also because of my own marital situation. Even though (and I’ve said it before) I know it is the best possible solution for both Jody, me and other loved ones – it still leaves an emptiness inside of me.

5) And you have forgotten that word of encouragement
that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6) because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
7) Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.
For what son is not disciplined by his father?
Hebrews 12:5-7

9) Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined
us and we respected them for it.
How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!
10) Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best;
but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.
11) No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace
for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:9-11

If someone had told me 20 years ago that this is where our marriage would end up, I would not have believed it! If someone had told me that certain things would transpire between us, I would have laughed and told them they had no idea what they were talking about! If anyone had said I would lose loved ones as I have, I would say no way - If you just love them with everything you have in you, you’ll never lose those you love!

When Jody and I married, I had such high expectations for us. We were both Christians; we both loved our children that we brought with us into the marriage, we loved each other’s children – because they were a part of each of us. I always thought that we would be a happy family – enjoying being together as much as possible.

My command is this:
Love each other as I have loved you.
John 15:12

My mom always told me that your children will do what you expect from them. Your expectations should be based on Godly principles, love and safety! As my children grew, I also learned that once they reached a certain age, it was more about asking questions before making a decision – is what they want something that goes against God’s teachings? Is what they want something that is illegal? Is what they want something that will harm them? If you can answer “no” to these three questions, then even though you may not especially like it, it’s probably okay!

One of the things I learned during my counseling last year is that sometimes “expectations” cause hurt, anger and depression – at least for me! When I expect a certain behavior from someone and they don’t meet that expectation, it’s very personal and causes me to feel bad. I am trying to learn to live without “expectations”! It’s not easy!

I am learning to live where I am now! My life is what it is and every choice I make on a daily basis helps to shape my “as is” life. It’s not what I expected – but I choose to make it positive!

9) Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil;
cling to what is good.
10) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.
Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:9-10

In His Love and Blessings
annb

"Feeling" My Life - As Is!

It’s been a while since I posted because I think I’m beginning to “feel” my life as it is now! Jody and I are separated and will either stay married, but separated or we will divorce. It’s hard to see our marriage of over 20 years ending, but I know it’s the only thing left to do after so many years of trying to make it work.

I’m beginning to feel a confidence in myself that I’ve not felt in a long time and it really feels good! I’m preparing myself, mentally, for job hunting beginning in February. I am praying that I will gain employment quickly and in a place where I can let “my light shine”!

I’ve been participating in life a little more and actually enjoying it! A few weeks ago, I went with Elizabeth, Michael and Addy and spent the weekend at my brother’s. We had a great time and I was so glad that I went with them. The past year, I’ve stuck very close to home – not wanting to be around people. I think the fear of being hurt really caused me to limit my activities and my relationships!

Last weekend was the annual family reunion with my Dad’s family. We’ve met every year in July for many, many years and I enjoy it even more now than when I was a child. I love being able to see everyone and find out how they’ve been doing, seeing how the children have grown, who’s gotten married and who’s having children! I have an amazing family which includes not only my siblings, but extended family on both my dad’s side and my mom’s side. I am so thankful!

My mom and dad have both passed away, as well as two of my dad’s brother’s and one aunt. I miss them. This, in my opinion, is the most difficult part of getting older – losing loved ones. I miss my mom and dad every day and know that there will be more as I age!

Today, Jody called me to let me know that one of the guys he worked with passed away this morning. He was 31 years old and had a massive heart attack! It’s very sad because I knew him and have known his family because many of the family members worked together with Jody. It really hits home that none of us knows what tomorrow brings!

I’ve been sewing! I used to sew a lot when my children were young and would stay up all night to finish a project. Elizabeth brought some fabric and I’ve completed two of the projects for Addy and am very pleased with the job! I have enough fabric for three more projects and need to get started on those, too.

I will post some family pics from the reunion soon and also some pics of the outfits I’ve completed for Addy! I’m looking forward to a new week!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Great 4th of July!

I went with Michael, Elizabeth and Addy this weekend to my brother's house. My brother and his wife have three young children and they live in a small town in northern Oklahoma. I love visiting there, not only because I get to spend time with the family, but also for the small town life!

When we go for the weekend, we always get up on Saturday morning (early) to go downtown to Margie's restaurant for breakfast. It's so fun because the town is so small everybody knows everybody else and greet each other like family! My brother, besides his regular 40-hour a week job, is a member of the volunteer fire dept, ambulance crew and is friends with the police department! My sister-in-law works at the bank in town, so is also known by everyone - besides the fact that she grew up in this same town!

It's always great to spend time with my family - even more so when things are "different" in my life. My family is truly a blessing from God and I'm so thankful to be a part of this family. Even though Jody and I are going through the changes that we are, my family is always open, loving and non-judgmental! They love me unconditionally and support me . . . always! They also care about Jody - not because he was my husband, but because of the person that he is! They have always cared about him and I know that hasn't changed and will not change. He will always be welcomed by all of them!

My brother had to work most of the time we were there, but we had a great time with his wife and the kids over the weekend. We got there on Friday evening and just spent time at home talking and catching up with each other. They have the sweetest kiddos and I love them so much!

Saturday was free swim day at the city pool and also free Putt-Putt miniature golf! We spent a couple of hours at the pool, left there and went to my sister-in-law's parents where they were celebrating a birthday! Her parents are great and always make us feel welcome. We then picked up some fireworks for the kids - sparklers, worms, smoke bombs, champagne poppers and a fountain. Fireworks - except for those we bought - are not legal in town, but the kids had a great time with the things that were bought for them.

We got so busy with everything on Saturday that we forgot to go play Putt-Putt! Thankfully, the kiddos didn't notice because we were so busy! They were exhausted and went to bed early enough that the grown-ups were able to play a couple of games before bed.

We left for home after lunch on Sunday. It's about a three hour trip, but always well worth the drive! We had a great time - as we always do! Thanks, you guys - it was great to see you!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

I've nothing to hide!!

If you have visited my blog recently, you noticed that I had changed it from Public to Private. I will not go into the reasons why, but have decided that my blog will again be public. I have nothing to hide and enjoy blogging and don’t feel the need to hide my thoughts!

I will, however, no longer be mentioning Jody’s daughters or their families on my blog – by request! I won’t go into detail about that, but I am respecting the wishes of the one who made that request.

With that said, I also want to state that: I am not a liar! I am not a thief! Jody and I – together – raised the three children we brought into our marriage and the child that we had together! We made all decisions together, we loved them together, we cared for them the best we knew how and thought we did a good job! Every childhood toy that belonged to any one of our children is stored in a storage room in Jody’s shop - because I could never get rid of them! I thought they might want them someday and the toys are there whenever, if ever they choose to take them.

I was never a perfect mother – still working on it – but I loved our children. I worked very hard to maintain a balance of equality, individuality and separate personality for each one of our children. I made mistakes and for those I have apologized and don’t know what else to do to make things better. Jody and I are both sorry for the decisions that have been made, but we are trying to deal with things in an adult and loving way. We still have two of our children who want us both in their lives and we will be there – both of us – for them!

With that being said, I will continue to blog about my life, about my two biological children – their accomplishments and all the reasons I love them and am so proud of the adults they have become!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Endings that lead to Beginnings!

I've thought, for two weeks now, that I would update my blog, but still am not sure what to write . . . so, here goes:

Jody and I have decided to separate - for the final time! After getting back together, after an 8 month separation last year, I was really hopeful - and in prayer over our relationship. We did attend counseling with the Family Pastor where I have attended church for the past year and a half, but it is over for us. There's nothing more than that to say!

Elizabeth and Michael left this morning for a trip to D.C. They will be back on Monday, but already Addy is missing her mommy! Elizabeth called from the airport when they arrived and was able to talk with her for a bit and I'm sure will call back later. Addy has been a little teary-eyed and clingy this morning. She's not been away from her mother for more than a weekend since she was about a year old and she's feeling it!

She and I have the next couple of days to spend together - just the two of us and I know we'll have a good time . . . but, I'm still not mommy! Friday evening she will go with her dad and stay with him until Monday afternoon. She always has a good time with him, too. I know she'll be fine!

Tonight, Addy has her first choir practice and is excited about it. She was in a choir a couple of years ago and participated in a Christmas program, which was really cute! She loves to sing and is a natural performer!

My weekend will be spent . . . hmmmm, Oh, yeah! I will be cleaning house, doing laundry, mowing, trimming hedges, pulling weeds, etc. The highlight of my weekend will probably be feeding the dog and the fish and then sitting for hours watching the fish swim around the tank. Try not to be too envious - it's not always as exciting as it sounds!

Today through Friday I have the daycare kiddos to care for, although we are minus a few! Two of the kiddos went to NY to visit grandparents (with mom and dad) and another one is off this week because mommy is home all week! Most days I will have only two plus Addy, so it's going to be pretty quiet around here.

Those are my plans - you have anything going on this week so, you know, maybe I can imagine myself doing something fun?!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Fabulous N Fit Challenge

Join the Challenge!
I have!!

Heather at FABULOUS N FIT
is challenging anyone (even non-bloggers)
to join the Fabulous N Fit Challenge!

Here's what she has to say:

Hi my name is Heather, my birthday is September 25th and I am going to be FABULOUS N FIT by then! Who's going to join me? I invite ANY and all to join in this challenge, which will run from June 1st to September 22nd (the official beginning of fall) this is 17 & 1/2 weeks away. Plenty of time to lose some weight . You are even welcome to join the Fabulous N Fit Challenge if you don't have a blog. There is NO CUT OFF date so you are welcome to join the Fabulous N Fit Challenge at any time.

Click on the link below:Sign up for the Fabulous N Fit By Fall Challenge Here

My starting weight is: 183 lbs

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Thank you, God, that I am ENOUGH!!

Mark 10
1-2 From there he(Jesus) went to the area of Judea across the Jordan.

A crowd of people, as was so often the case, went along,

and he, as he so often did, taught them.

Pharisees came up, intending to give him a hard time. They asked,

"Is it legal for a man to divorce his wife?"

3 Jesus said, "What did Moses command?"

4 They answered, "Moses gave permission

to fill out a certificate of dismissal and divorce her."

5-9 Jesus said, "Moses wrote this command only as a concession

to your hardhearted ways.

In the original creation, God made male and female to be together.

Because of this, a man leaves father and mother,

and in marriage he becomes one flesh with a woman

—no longer two individuals, but forming a new unity.

Yesterday, I had a comment on a blog post from “anonymous”! It was unbelievable to me – the names I was called and the things said in the comment by someone who doesn’t even know me! We traced the comment and knew where it came from and discovered who the person was that wrote it.

I have met this person twice and I don’t know her - at all – and she does not know me – at all! The only things she knows about me are what she has been told – by someone I love - which made the comment hurt that much more. Things that are not even the truth, have been told to this person and I cannot even wrap my mind around why this would happen.

I know that the person telling these things is angry with me. I know this person has been hurt and for that I am truly sorry. I would never want to cause pain to this person. I have been praying that this relationship, as well as another, would be healed.

Jody and I talked, about these relationships, last night after a lot of drama had taken place. He said it doesn’t appear that things will change and that I probably should just be prepared for that very result. I don’t know how to give up on it. I don’t know how to turn off the love that I have for those from which I am estranged, although for now I will try not to dwell on the way things are, but I will continue praying - asking God to heal the wounds.

Ephesians 5:24-26 (The Message)

22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands

in ways that show your support for Christ.

The husband provides leadership to his wife

the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.

So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership,

wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

Jody has become my rock since we came back together after the separation. We had so many problems in our marriage before the separation, but the commitment we made when we came back together has made us closer than we have been in 20 years of marriage! We are putting a high priority on our marriage - a marriage that glorifies God! We're putting each other over all others on this earth to make our marriage strong! Jody is my focus and I believe that I am his!

Ephesians 5:24-26 (The Message)

25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives,

exactly as Christ did for the church

—a love marked by giving, not getting.

Christ's love makes the church whole.

His words evoke her beauty.

Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her,

dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness.

And that is how husbands ought to love their wives.

They're really doing themselves a favor

—since they're already "one" in marriage.

I am thankful that our marriage is on the right course. I am thankful that we chose to re-commit to our marriage rather than just throw it away. I am thankful that he loves me and I thank God that I am enough!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Jody - first 24 hrs after Surgery

Jody’s first 24 hours after surgery have been pretty tough on him. Last night about 10:15 all the patients in the hospital had to be moved to the recovery area, away from all windows, because the hospital was right in the path of a possible tornado. The sirens had blown in that area of the city, so I called the hospital to check and they were moving the patients at that time. I called back about 2:30 am and talked to Jody’s nurse and she said they only had to stay in the recovery area for about 15 minutes before the all clear was sounded and the patients could go back to their rooms.

When I got to the hospital this morning, Jody told me about being moved and how “bumpy” the ride was to get there! He has been in a lot of pain since the surgery and is not getting much relief. The doctor had told me this was going to happen, but I don’t think Jody was really prepared for it. He was in pain – a lot of pain today, as well.

The PA came in this evening to talk to him about his pain level. She explained a lot to us and tried to help Jody understand why he is in so much pain. She answered questions for us and told us what to expect in his recovery and said he may be able to come home on Saturday, but that’s not certain yet.

She also gave us some news which really threw me for a loop! It was not what I had expected and was quite a blow! I had expected such a different outcome and was saddened to have those expectations brought down as she gave us the reality! Thankfully God, not the doctors know for sure what will happen and I am praying that God will intervene and things won’t be the same as predicted.

The PA increased the dosage on a couple of meds to see if that would get the pain under control. I’m praying that it does help and gives him some relief!

Jody’s mom, dad and Candace came to visit tonight at the hospital, but didn’t stay long. He was in so much pain and I’m sure they felt it! I know that he was glad to see them anyway, but is just feeling so bad he didn’t feel much like visiting yet. I had stepped out while they visited so that they could have time with him. When I walked back into his room he had his cell phone calling me to come back because they had gone. I feel so bad for him and everything he’s going through with this surgery.

Jody is not one to sit still or lie around in bed, but instead needs to be up and moving whenever he wants and he’s feeling pretty tied down right now. He’s a bit demanding and not altogether reasonable, but I am (trying) to be mindful of the amount of pain he’s experiencing. I love him and it hurts to see him this way.

I’ll be back at the hospital with him in the morning to spend another day. I hope that he does better and is able to relax some tomorrow. Maybe he will be able to sleep tonight with the increase in medication and that will help him feel better. Right now, he’s refusing food and not drinking much so that’s a concern, too. The PA explained that he has to eat, especially protein right now to help his body heal more quickly and effectively from the surgery.

Please pray that tonight will be the beginning of a turnaround and that his pain will be better controlled. Please pray for God’s healing hands to touch him and get him through this recovery quickly. I don’t know what the future looks like for him - and for us – God knows and I’m trusting in Him!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

I'm a Contributing Writer!

Today I am a contributing writer at Internet Cafe Devotions!
Hope you'll visit me there and look around the site - it's a great place to find inspiration!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

My Daybook

FOR TODAY, May 11, 2009 ... I am choosing to focus - on enjoying each moment with which God has blessed me; . . . on loving my family & friends; . . . on my husband and our life together!

Outside my window... it's chilly and raining - the grass and trees are so green and beautiful!

I am thinking... that I have so much to do today and need to get busy!

I am thankful for... my life! I'm thankful that Jody and I are together, loving each other and looking forward to our future!

From the learning rooms... we (meaning the daycare kiddos) are making a "my favorite things" page!

From the kitchen... I am going to put some chicken breasts in the crockpot and then decide what to do with them after they finish cooking!

I am wearing... navy blue sweats, a blue t-shirt, white socks and a black sweater! Yes, I am a fashionista - I am also freezing!

I am creating... pictures for the kiddos to glue on their craft page!

I am going... to the chiropractor this afternoon and then to Walmart for a couple of things!

I am reading... I have so many things to read and intend to start soon!

I am hoping... for some dry weather this week so we can play outside!

I am hearing... the sounds of the kiddos playing

Around the house... laundry is underway - bedclothes, towels, clothing

One of my favorite things... is my Bible! It is the Bible that I gave my Mom for her birthday the year before she passed away and she gave it back to me as her passing came near. It is large print and has a beautiful Thomas Kincade cover.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Jody will be having surgery on Wednesday morning. It will be about a 4 hour surgery on his back. We are praying that God will cover him with His protection and healing and that he will guide the surgeon's hands through the surgery.

One of my devotional posts will be published
on Internet Chat Cafe tomorrow, May 12.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

This is a picture of my great-aunt as she was teaching a Bible class during Sunday School at church. My aunt has passed away, and this picture is very precious to me! This could be a picture of any of the women in my family as they studied. They all had and have a great love for the Lord and spent many hours in His Word. I strive to be as faithful and devoted as they were and as they are!

Join the Simple Woman's Daybook here!

Three Generations of Moms

Happy Mother's Day This is a picture of My mom, Elizabeth & Addy and me
Taken in May 2002

I love my mom so much - she was the hub of our family. I miss her every day! I thank God that she was my mom and for all the valuable lessons she taught me!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Homeschool - She's Doing Great!!

As most know, my daughter Elizabeth homeschools Addyson. I love that Elizabeth, Michael and John (Addy's Dad) haven chosen this path for her. I have seen her truly blossom since the decision to take her out of public school and keep her at home.

Lately, there are some who have been making comments - in front of Addy - about her "lack" of education. I'm sad that they don't know her the way we do and don't understand the great knowledge she is gaining through homeschooling! She is in competition with no one, studies the Bible in her daily curriculum, learns through many everyday life situations and is being taught by her parents - the people to whom God entrusted her life and learning!

Elizabeth has written a post in answer to those who question Addy's academic learning. It would be great for her to know that not everyone is against homeschooling! Please visit Elizabeth and let her know your thoughts on the subject!

In His Love and Blessings
annb

Some Business is Personal!

Jody had his appointment today with the orthopedic surgeon. He is scheduled for surgery, on his back, next Wednesday, May 13. We spent the morning at the doctor's office and then to the hospital for pre-op testing. They did the usual lab, but also did an EKG - which was good!

I'm anxious for the surgery to be done. He's been in pain for so long and it will be good to see him without the pain and pain meds. I know it will be a huge load off his shoulders when he feels better and is able to do more.

As for me - the chiropractor has done great work! My hip is absolutely pain free and as soon as the bruises heal - I'll be great! I asked him last week about exercise and he told me not to do any until my hip is stabilized. I have another appointment Monday and hopefully, I'll be able to start then!

Last week, I visited our youngest daughter to talk about some business we have together. The "discussion" went completely out of control and it saddens me to know how she feels about me.

When Jody and I got back together, last year after an 8-month separation, we decided then that we would not let the opinions of others make a difference in our relationship. That was something that had happened in the past because I was unable to deal with the feelings of inadequacy and inferiority caused by the words and actions directed at me from others outside of mine and Jody's relationship. That is, of course, not the only reason for the separation - but it was a contributing factor.

I am amazed at the judgement of others directed at me because I was the one who left our home! Some people believe that because I left - I was the only one who had done anything wrong in the marriage! I love Jody and decided, a long time ago not to dishonor him by telling others about any of his faults. I have not been verbal about the reasons for the separation because I felt like it was no one else's business! The separation was between Jody and me! No one else lived our lives and knew what brought us to the point of separation.

I still feel like it's no one's business and I don't intend to start discussing personal aspects of our lives with others. Jody and I, together, are working to make our marriage better than ever before. We are both aware of what went wrong before and are determined to correct the weaknesses that we each have within ourselves.

It's very difficult for me to know where I fit in anymore with Jody's children and his family. It's tough! I work myself into such a state of anxiety and nervousness before I am around any of them and am making myself sick worrying about it. I'm letting it go!

I can't make anyone accept me or the fact that Jody and I love each other and BOTH of us decided that we didn't want to throw away 20 years of marriage because we both let God and our marriage become an "afterthought" in our lives. We both put other things before these on our list of priorities, which could never bring good to our lives!

I am so blessed that he agreed to try again - even after there was so much hurt, anger and guilt on both sides! I thank God every day that we are together and growing stronger in our relationship!

I'm sorry for those who can't accept and be happy that we have "re"-committed to our marriage and know that God will bless us for that decision!

In His Love and Blessings
annb