Jody had his appointment today with the orthopedic surgeon. He is scheduled for surgery, on his back, next Wednesday, May 13. We spent the morning at the doctor's office and then to the hospital for pre-op testing. They did the usual lab, but also did an EKG - which was good!
I'm anxious for the surgery to be done. He's been in pain for so long and it will be good to see him without the pain and pain meds. I know it will be a huge load off his shoulders when he feels better and is able to do more.
As for me - the chiropractor has done great work! My hip is absolutely pain free and as soon as the bruises heal - I'll be great! I asked him last week about exercise and he told me not to do any until my hip is stabilized. I have another appointment Monday and hopefully, I'll be able to start then!
Last week, I visited our youngest daughter to talk about some business we have together. The "discussion" went completely out of control and it saddens me to know how she feels about me.
When Jody and I got back together, last year after an 8-month separation, we decided then that we would not let the opinions of others make a difference in our relationship. That was something that had happened in the past because I was unable to deal with the feelings of inadequacy and inferiority caused by the words and actions directed at me from others outside of mine and Jody's relationship. That is, of course, not the only reason for the separation - but it was a contributing factor.
I am amazed at the judgement of others directed at me because I was the one who left our home! Some people believe that because I left - I was the only one who had done anything wrong in the marriage! I love Jody and decided, a long time ago not to dishonor him by telling others about any of his faults. I have not been verbal about the reasons for the separation because I felt like it was no one else's business! The separation was between Jody and me! No one else lived our lives and knew what brought us to the point of separation.
I still feel like it's no one's business and I don't intend to start discussing personal aspects of our lives with others. Jody and I, together, are working to make our marriage better than ever before. We are both aware of what went wrong before and are determined to correct the weaknesses that we each have within ourselves.
It's very difficult for me to know where I fit in anymore with Jody's children and his family. It's tough! I work myself into such a state of anxiety and nervousness before I am around any of them and am making myself sick worrying about it. I'm letting it go!
I can't make anyone accept me or the fact that Jody and I love each other and BOTH of us decided that we didn't want to throw away 20 years of marriage because we both let God and our marriage become an "afterthought" in our lives. We both put other things before these on our list of priorities, which could never bring good to our lives!
I am so blessed that he agreed to try again - even after there was so much hurt, anger and guilt on both sides! I thank God every day that we are together and growing stronger in our relationship!
I'm sorry for those who can't accept and be happy that we have "re"-committed to our marriage and know that God will bless us for that decision!
In His Love and Blessings
annb
I can honestly say, I know first hand everything you posted here..and I stand with you for your restoration as I have had it happen many times here too, BUT, there is ALWAYS praise to our Father, who above all else, has given you AND I the opportunity (whether we are right or wrong) to get it right this time and get this, if we screw it up (by our fault or theirs, doesnt matter), Our Father will STILL give us ANOTHER opportunity. Remember, His ways and thoughts are NOT like ours or others, they are way beyond and above them and no one and nothing can keep His will away from our lives, no matter what the circumstances or people are. One thing you and I do that we have GOT to stop, and thats worrying about pleasing either our men OR the people in their lives. Heavens, I will never tell the world our story, never ever ever...its no ones business but the Lords and ours...I cant control anyone elses opinion of every chance our Lord gives, just do the best you can with the abilities He gives us and its by our examples (the changes we make) that will show them one day - the Holy Spirit WILL opne their eyes....hang in their and you just love your man, like i love mine too!
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