We buried my Mother today! The ceremony was everything we could have hoped for and exactly as she wished it to be with many flowers and a great attendance of family and friends who came to celebrate her passing! What a wonderful blessing! She is no longer in pain - no longer blind - no longer crippled and no longer tired! She was loved by many and will live in our hearts forever.
My Mother’s Hands
Author Unknown
I held her hands in mine last night…
they looked so thin and worn…
but they held
Mine just as tightly…
as the day that I was born.
Those gentle and expressive hands…
Etched by work and care…
have folded over My bedside…
many times in humble prayer.
They’ve washed for me…they’ve fed me…
They’ve helped me become who I am…
There’s something
Of our Lord, Himself…
In every Mother’s hands.
LaVerne lived a life of service to the Lord and also taught her children to love the Lord. The family worshiped for many years at the Church of Christ in the community where they lived. The family later moved to a new town and LaVerne was a member of the local congregation for over 25 years. She taught Sunday School classes most of her adult life, but especially loved teaching the babies. She taught classes for infants, age three months to two years enjoyed preparing the lessons and songs to present in the classes.
She worked for many years in food service – in a Hospital and later in several nursing homes throughout the state. She traveled to the different nursing homes teaching and supervising the dietary staff the proper methods of food preparation and safety.
At the age of 60, she took up painting for which she had great talent. One of the greatest losses she experienced was the loss of her eyesight which meant the end of her painting. She loved to paint and gave to each of her children beautiful works of art!
Her husband, Fred thought the paintings were good – but nothing extraordinary until he discovered that they were not paint-by-number works! When he found out that her paintings were done free hand, he too, was quite impressed with her talent.
LaVerne loved her family and enjoyed the time she spent with them. She loved taking care of her husband and children and always put their needs before her own. She took exceptional care of Fred during the last five years of his life when he was quite ill with congestive heart failure. During the last 24 hours of Fred’s life, at his request, she stood at the head of his hospital bed – for 20 hours straight – singing two of Fred’s favorite songs, Always and Sentimental Journey. She never left his side, nor did she stop singing those songs for that entire time.
She had a great love for reading and story telling. She would tell stories to the grandchildren and great grandchildren about her life experiences. The kids loved to hear the stories and always asked for more! She had a way of reciting events that made it exciting and wondrous to hear!
She grew up in a loving family with one sister and seven brothers. She was preceded in death by most of her family and leaves behind only one brother and her only sister.
She also was preceded in death by her husband, Fred and one grandson.
She leaves behind six children and their families: three sons and daughters-in-law and three daughters and sons-in-law. She leaves 17 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren as well as many nieces and nephews.
“I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me.
I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad
and my tongue rejoices;
Therefore my heart is glad
and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
You have made known to me the path of life;
You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
Psalm 16:7-11
Psalm 16:7-11
I have very special memories of my Mother that I will forever hold as precious treasure, for me to have as my own to enable me to hold her near. But, I do have one special memory that I would like to share. This past year has been difficult, but even with the debilitating symptoms of Dementia we have had moments of absolute hysteria!
Mother always had a sense of humor and loved to play practical jokes, especially on co-workers. Even though her Dementia had taken away so many memories, she had days in which she would laugh right along with the rest of us at things she would say to us.
During the last few months, Mother did not recognize me as Ann or if she did know that I was Ann, she didn’t recognize that I was her daughter. She also did not believe that she lived with Jody and me in our home.
There were many days when Mother would tell me that she needed to go home – that she was not staying at our house any longer! To try to convince her that she did indeed live with us was pointless! Her mind could no longer grasp reason and no matter what we said to her, her reality was something that we were not a part of!
This one particular day, she had been insistent that she was going home! No matter what I said, she was going – even to the point of becoming angry with me for not allowing her to go home!
The only thing stopping her that particular day (according to her) was that she could not find her car – the car in which she had driven herself to our house that day!
She kept asking us all day to look outside for the car and to see if her car was down at the barn or at the house next door. To pacify her, we would each take turns walking outside and coming back in letting her know that we were unable to find the car.
Elizabeth, Michael and Addy came out on this same evening and she began asking them if they had seen her car as they drove to our house. They told her they had not seen it, but would look around as they left to go home.
Addyson loves the “Wizard of Oz” movie and talked about it all the time she was at the house that evening – including telling “Granny” all about the movie and talking extensively about each of the movie’s characters. Obviously, even though Mother could remember almost nothing else, she remembered her conversation with Addyson about the movie because as Michael and Elizabeth started to leave that night, Mother, trying to be helpful, let them know that they should look at one particular house for the car. She said she thought she left the car “at the house of the man who makes fun of ToTo” (the dog in Wizard of Oz)!Now, I’m sorry to have to inform you that Michael and Elizabeth were unable to locate either the car, “the man who makes fun of ToTo”, or the yellow brick road for that matter. So, as you go about your daily lives if you should happen to spot Mother’s car, please let us know! I’m sorry I can’t give you a description of the car because even though she remembered the house where she left the car, she could not remember the color, make or model of it! After hearing of the missing car, Rhonda suggested someone might check with Auntie Em and find out whether or not she has seen the car!
Mother always had a sense of humor and loved to play practical jokes, especially on co-workers. Even though her Dementia had taken away so many memories, she had days in which she would laugh right along with the rest of us at things she would say to us.
During the last few months, Mother did not recognize me as Ann or if she did know that I was Ann, she didn’t recognize that I was her daughter. She also did not believe that she lived with Jody and me in our home.
There were many days when Mother would tell me that she needed to go home – that she was not staying at our house any longer! To try to convince her that she did indeed live with us was pointless! Her mind could no longer grasp reason and no matter what we said to her, her reality was something that we were not a part of!
This one particular day, she had been insistent that she was going home! No matter what I said, she was going – even to the point of becoming angry with me for not allowing her to go home!
The only thing stopping her that particular day (according to her) was that she could not find her car – the car in which she had driven herself to our house that day!
She kept asking us all day to look outside for the car and to see if her car was down at the barn or at the house next door. To pacify her, we would each take turns walking outside and coming back in letting her know that we were unable to find the car.
Elizabeth, Michael and Addy came out on this same evening and she began asking them if they had seen her car as they drove to our house. They told her they had not seen it, but would look around as they left to go home.
Addyson loves the “Wizard of Oz” movie and talked about it all the time she was at the house that evening – including telling “Granny” all about the movie and talking extensively about each of the movie’s characters. Obviously, even though Mother could remember almost nothing else, she remembered her conversation with Addyson about the movie because as Michael and Elizabeth started to leave that night, Mother, trying to be helpful, let them know that they should look at one particular house for the car. She said she thought she left the car “at the house of the man who makes fun of ToTo” (the dog in Wizard of Oz)!Now, I’m sorry to have to inform you that Michael and Elizabeth were unable to locate either the car, “the man who makes fun of ToTo”, or the yellow brick road for that matter. So, as you go about your daily lives if you should happen to spot Mother’s car, please let us know! I’m sorry I can’t give you a description of the car because even though she remembered the house where she left the car, she could not remember the color, make or model of it! After hearing of the missing car, Rhonda suggested someone might check with Auntie Em and find out whether or not she has seen the car!
One of my sister’s best memories includes the special love Mom had for her family. She waited a long time before her first child was born and truly appreciated how blessed she was to have children.
Mom taught each of her children to understand the importance of family and that family doesn’t always mean “related by blood”. A lot of children have grown up calling her “Grandma LaVerne” and she loved each and every one of them.
There was never a doubt of the extent of her love for our Dad. It was evident during our entire lives and Daddy knew it even until the moment of his passing. During the last years of his life, the care she provided to him set a standard before her children that will serve as a measure of love that we pray we can emulate! She did things for Daddy that he could no longer do for himself while allowing him to maintain his dignity.
Mom used to sew when we were younger and taught all three of her daughters and some of granddaughters the art of sewing. She made each of her three daughters and also two of her daughters-in-law the dresses they wore to be married.
While her children were learning to drive, Mom was the parent in the front seat a lot of the time. She has passed on a few of her training techniques to at least two of her daughters, Ann and myself, which we have also introduced to our children. We learned to grave the dashboard, or stomp on the imaginary brake, and to gasp for air during especially trying times!
Mom taught each of us the importance of truth and taking responsibility for our own actions, including admitting when we make a mistake. I remember doing head stands in the living room chair and putting a hole in the wall with my feet! I covered the hole with a “lovely” dog poster absolutely positive she would never realize something wasn’t right! When she asked me about the poster, of course I tried to lie about what happened, but she knew I would eventually tell the truth! That was the worst punishment I could receive – living with that lie until I finally did confess the truth!Mom has left us a great example to follow and we will miss her!
Mom taught each of her children to understand the importance of family and that family doesn’t always mean “related by blood”. A lot of children have grown up calling her “Grandma LaVerne” and she loved each and every one of them.
There was never a doubt of the extent of her love for our Dad. It was evident during our entire lives and Daddy knew it even until the moment of his passing. During the last years of his life, the care she provided to him set a standard before her children that will serve as a measure of love that we pray we can emulate! She did things for Daddy that he could no longer do for himself while allowing him to maintain his dignity.
Mom used to sew when we were younger and taught all three of her daughters and some of granddaughters the art of sewing. She made each of her three daughters and also two of her daughters-in-law the dresses they wore to be married.
While her children were learning to drive, Mom was the parent in the front seat a lot of the time. She has passed on a few of her training techniques to at least two of her daughters, Ann and myself, which we have also introduced to our children. We learned to grave the dashboard, or stomp on the imaginary brake, and to gasp for air during especially trying times!
Mom taught each of us the importance of truth and taking responsibility for our own actions, including admitting when we make a mistake. I remember doing head stands in the living room chair and putting a hole in the wall with my feet! I covered the hole with a “lovely” dog poster absolutely positive she would never realize something wasn’t right! When she asked me about the poster, of course I tried to lie about what happened, but she knew I would eventually tell the truth! That was the worst punishment I could receive – living with that lie until I finally did confess the truth!Mom has left us a great example to follow and we will miss her!
One of my nieces also shared some of her special memories. She, like the rest of the family, has a lot of memories about Grandma, but there are some that especially have great meaning for her. Grandma loved having the grandkids around and during the summer the kids visited a lot. The kids enjoyed putting on plays for Grandma - and for Grandpa while he was still living. Grandma always encouraged the playtime – a great use of the imagination – and supplied any “props” the kids needed for their plays. She would help the kids come up with costumes and ideas for the plays and then excitedly watch the kids perform. On one occasion Jamie, Elizabeth and I actually wore tutu’s on our heads because Grandma said it made us look like “flowers”! Grandma also helped us make sock puppets so we could put on a puppet show for Brad, Joey, Stacey, Leslie and Andy.
Grandma used to have “Grandkids Night” where she would have all of the grandkids together for the evening and to spend the night with her and Grandpa. There was one particular Grandkids night where I helped Grandma make spaghetti. I was fixing Grandpa a plate and of course, filled it with a heaping helping of spaghetti! When I went to set the plate on the table by grandma so that I could get some salad for the plate, I knocked the plate of spaghetti into Grandma’s lap. She just sat there laughing, not upset at all. She always saw the humor in everything!
I can also remember going on a road trip with Grandma, Jamie and Elizabeth to visit family grave sites. Grandma made it so much fun! We stopped at a reststop and had a picnic lunch and then she took us through a town where Bonnie and Clyde , from the upstairs room of a main street hotel, were reportedly in a stand off with law enforcement.I have so many good memories with Grandma, but the best one is that she always let us use our imaginations no matter how silly or bizarre our ideas might be and she was never too busy to stop and watch what we were doing or to take a moment to enjoy our little shows!
Grandma used to have “Grandkids Night” where she would have all of the grandkids together for the evening and to spend the night with her and Grandpa. There was one particular Grandkids night where I helped Grandma make spaghetti. I was fixing Grandpa a plate and of course, filled it with a heaping helping of spaghetti! When I went to set the plate on the table by grandma so that I could get some salad for the plate, I knocked the plate of spaghetti into Grandma’s lap. She just sat there laughing, not upset at all. She always saw the humor in everything!
I can also remember going on a road trip with Grandma, Jamie and Elizabeth to visit family grave sites. Grandma made it so much fun! We stopped at a reststop and had a picnic lunch and then she took us through a town where Bonnie and Clyde , from the upstairs room of a main street hotel, were reportedly in a stand off with law enforcement.I have so many good memories with Grandma, but the best one is that she always let us use our imaginations no matter how silly or bizarre our ideas might be and she was never too busy to stop and watch what we were doing or to take a moment to enjoy our little shows!
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