One of the areas in my life that still needs some definite work is my defensiveness against people who have hurt someone I love. I'm afraid I am a bit aggressive when it comes to defending those who are most important in my life.
Sometimes in defending my "loves" I end up coming on so strong that I offend or hurt the person who I feel has committed the offense against "mine"! That really is not my intention. I start out just wanting them to understand the hurt they have caused because I feel like if you can talk about problems . . . they can be resolved!
Not always so! It seems there are people who believe they have no fault in hurting others - no matter what the situation. I guess they just think it's the injured person's responsibility to "get over it" - which is not always easy!
I am (slowly) learning that just because I want to defend my family and friends - it's not always practical. Depending on the person who has caused the hurt and that person's continued "hurtful" behavior - there may be no resolution! In that case, I resolve, from this day, to stop defending . . . at least to those same people.
That doesn't mean I won't still be saddened by the hurt inflicted or by the affect it has on those I love, but I will choose not to share those feelings with those people who have decided it doesn't matter to them. My actions to defend those I love having no impact, but angering or hurting the offender - does nothing to help anyone! Big news, right?!
I've never understood why people choose to ignore issues that can cause deep problems in their relationships. I guess it's because of the way my parents taught me to talk things out before they could become an issue. I'm glad they taught me those things because I know it makes a huge difference! I've just had to learn that it doesn't always make a difference to others.
I don't want to hurt others. I try to see them through God's eyes, even though I've not perfected this in my life! I am still a work in progress and hope that I continue to learn for the rest of my life.
Because of trauma that I've lived through in the past I sometimes believe that others will be as hurt as I once was by actions and words against them and that's just not the way I need to look at every situation. Each person deals with hurt in their own way and that's what I have begun to understand more fully.
Thank you, God, for forgiveness and mercy.
Thank you, Father, that my heart has been opened
and accepting of Your truths.
I pray that I will be open to allowing the Holy Spirit to speak
through me in all areas of my life and
to think about every word before it is spoken!
In His Love and Blessings
annb
Hi Annb. I think I lean in that direction naturally too. I speak up too often I'm sure. I am praying to have more self-control where my mouth is concerned!
ReplyDeleteFor those who are in Christ -- God is our Defender and Shield.
Love,
Beth
Just to be a voice of reason here. Where God is reason. You are full of yourself and a control freak. You are experienced and think you carry a big stick, but all that experience just led you to overdo it because of the anger and hostility you hold onto from your past. The morals and character are what you need to focus on. Forget about the salvation part for now. Focus on those little character flaws and quit thinking you've come to god and jesus while still making the same mistakes over and over again. You are NOT a defender. You are an KNEE JERK OFFENDER! Completely reactionary! working with a shakey foundation. God is all things, love it but a single aspect among many.
ReplyDeleteHi Annb! Your name is in the drawing for the Francine Rivers series. These books are wonderful!
ReplyDeleteHave a blessed day!
Beth