"Til Death Do Us Part"

This has been a great week for Jody and me and I’m so thankful for the blessings God has provided. Christmas day was very quiet for us. Our children had met with us earlier for our Christmas celebration and Christmas day was reserved for them and their plans. Jody and I had the same tradition when our kids were younger. We always wanted to be at home for Christmas so that the kiddos could sleep in their own bed, eager for Santa to bring their gifts and fill their stockings!

Jody and I went to a matinee that afternoon and saw the movie, “Fireproof”. What an awesome movie! It really touched both our hearts, especially because of the events of this year. I’m glad we saw the movie and were able to talk about it afterwards. We are learning how to better communicate with each other and through that, God is really working in our lives.

Chance called me on Friday evening and said he had something he needed to tell me. What a way to start a conversation! I won’t even say what it was he said he had to tell me, but he started by saying, “Mom, you support me in everything I do, right?” Uh, most things! Then he said the words that I never imagined I would ever hear from one of my children.

I quietly caught my breath and said, “Well, uh . . .. “ He broke in laughing and said, “That’s really not true, but I do have something to tell you. Now that you’ve heard the worst news you could ever hear – the truth is . . . I got a tattoo!” I was able to respond that time without hesitation and asked him questions about it (as if I’m interested in his “body - upper arm - art”) and he told me all about it. He finished and then said, “Isn’t that cool?” I told him, “No, not really”. I also explained to him that I love him no matter what and he is his own person.

This past year through everything I have learned, one of the most life-changing things that Julie helped me learn is that I am only responsible for me. I can’t take on anyone else’s “stuff” because there’s nothing I can do about it anyway. I am and always will be Chance’s mom. I will love him always – as I do all four of my children. They are all grown and they all make their own decisions, no longer seeking approval or acceptance of their decisions from Jody or me. Those things don’t define who they are or where they may go in this life. The most important thing I pray for my children is that they all accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, accepting the wonderful blessing of His love!

Saturday, Jody and I met with my siblings and their families for our Christmas celebration. It was such a great time! Even though they all know that I left Jody earlier this year and everything that transpired since that time, they are all loving, kind and accepting of who we are now – in this season of our lives! Not one of them has been judgmental, but instead have listened and been there for me during this time. Not one of them has taken sides – favoring either Jody or me in any way. They love us both and want us to be happy. That doesn’t mean that they have agreed with everything, but they never changed toward either of us. I am so thankful for their love and support!

I’m sad to say that the same has not been true for others. There are some who do not want Jody and me to be together again. There are some who have voiced opinions that have been painful to hear and completely destructive to the relationship that was once thought to be steadfast! I’ve been shocked to hear some of what has been said – not understanding how anyone could be so mean and hurtful.

Jody and I are doing really well together again. We have forgiven each other and are working towards the best relationship possible. We have decided that we no longer have to worry about what others think about our marriage – whether they are family, friends or strangers . . . it doesn’t matter.

What matters is that we have made peace with each other and want our marriage to be under God’s direction. We are learning so much about each other after all this time. It’s as if we never had the peace - during all the years the kids were growing up – that we needed to really build our relationship and secure our marriage. Thankfully, we feel that we have that now. The kids are all grown and we no longer have to listen to other people or care about how they think we are nurturing and teaching our children. That is a huge obstacle to our happiness that has now been removed.

The freedom that we now feel by not worrying about the opinions of other people – only considering how God sees our marriage – is another. It’s as if we are “meeting” for the first time and it’s safe and loving and I know it is “ . . . ‘til death do us part.”

In His Love and Blessings
annb