A Meme and a Tag

A meme - a good meme and a tag!

My "bloggie" friend, Valerie, tagged me for a meme - "8 Things about My Marriage". I enjoyed reading Valerie's answers and learning a little more about her family. I first "met" Valerie when she posted the following comment on an entry I had written about my Mom in her struggles with Dementia. You can read the post here.

My Kid's Mom said...
Hi Ann:My name is Valerie, one of the writers at Christian Women Online (I write for the blog and I'm a monthly contributor). I am featuring your blog tomorrow (on Monday the 25th) because I was very touched by this entry. Blessing to you and your family.

I was surprised, to say the least, to learn that people actually read my blog and even more surprised to learn that someone considered it interesting!

Well, I guess I got a little sidetracked, but here is my list of "8 Things about My Marriage".

1. Jody and I were married on February 14. I decided to plan the wedding for that particular day because Jody couldn't seem to remember important dates and I thought he surely would be able to remember that our anniversary was also Valentine's Day.

2. Jody and I had both been married before and started our marriage together with children. Three girls - Jody's two girls, Toni age 9 and Candace age 6 and my daughter, Elizabeth age 8. To say the girls were not thrilled with the "blending" of the families is an understatement!

We immediately got into family counseling to get professional help with the "blending". Times were rough around our household for most of the eight beginning years of our marriage. It was really difficult and many times - especially in the first four years - I wasn't sure we could ever make it work! Now, add into the family a baby boy, Chance, born exactly eleven months after the wedding and you've really got a lot going on! I can't honestly say that I wouldn't change things about those years if I could - but know that the things I wouldn't change are those times that we really grew together as family!

3. We had reserved a cabin at the lake for four days to spend for our honeymoon. We had about a three-hour drive to the cabin that night. When we left the church building it was cold and raining!

At the time we married, Jody was driving an old pick-up which had broken down the day before we got married. Jody was up almost the entire night preceding the day of our wedding, so he was already starting off tired as we left to make the three-hour trip.

We had gone about 35 or 40 miles when the left front wheel suddenly, for some reason, came off the truck while we were traveling at 55 miles an hour on the interstate! When the wheel came off, Jody got the truck stopped and off on the shoulder, but the wheel kept going! It traveled about a quarter of a mile down the highway - in the rain - with Jody running behind it all the way!

It was late - it was raining and we were both exhausted from the day's events. Jody started working to get the wheel back on the truck while I waited in the cab - tired, worried about how we would ever get to the cabin - worried about how the girls would do while we were gone - and just not in the best state of mind considering it was our wedding night!

Jody did get the wheel on and we decided to rent a motel room close by for the night. The next morning we left bright and early for the lake cabin. We cut our "Honeymoon" short to get back to the girls and we're still together after 18 1/2 years - so I guess even that eventful wedding night didn't deter us from our life together!

4. Jody and I had a very short courtship. We met and went out for the first time October 18 and married the next year on Valentine's Day. I knew Jody's mom - or knew "of her" - before meeting Jody because we attended the same church. I had never met Jody or even seen him before that first date even though he and his first wife had also attended the same church.

It wasn't "love at first sight", at least not for me. I had been deeply hurt in my earlier marriage and carried a lot of "baggage" with me, finding it difficult to trust people. Even when we married, I was still hiding behind huge walls I had built up to prevent anyone getting close enough to hurt me again and it took a long time before I really trusted Jody and believed that we would be together always.

5. Jody and I have lived at the same address for our entire marriage. We moved twice, but never from the land we live on to this day. We lived in a mobile home at the front of the property when we first married and moved the home to the back of the property not too long after getting married. A few years later we bought a bigger, newer mobile home and had it put next to the one we were living in at the time. We moved everything from the older home to the newer - still on the same piece of land we now own.

My parents bought five acres when my Dad retired and later sold the front half to my sister and the back half to us. The back half that we live on is covered in trees, away from neighbors and very peaceful and quiet. I love living here. We talk, sometimes, about buying a house - but so far haven't found it necessary.

When my Mom moved in with us, Jody - with financial help from my two older brothers - built on a bedroom and handicap-accessible bathroom for my Mom and an entry room to tie everything together. Jody has great carpentry skills and I'm happy with the improvements we've been able to make to our home.

6. We have a good marriage. It's not been perfect - in fact at times it has been far from perfect! Jody has always loved me for the person that I am - even though I had a hard time believing or understanding how he could possibly have those feelings about me. As the years go by I have learned to trust him when he tells me that he loves me and learned to trust that his feelings for me are real. I definitely love Jody more today than I did even on our wedding day.

One of Valerie's "8 Things . . . " list says - "We've had our difficult stretches, but we got through them because the word "commitment" is the cornerstone of our marriage." I know Jody and I also share a strong commitment to each other. Because we both are committed to our marriage and put our trust in God our marriage works. It is strong and I have no doubt that it will last "Until death parts us."

7. Jody and I are very different! We don't have a lot of the same interests. Jody likes to fish, hunt, visit every pawn shop, flea market and swap meet in sight and I don't really like any of that.

I love to read, play games or "bloghop" on the computer and I like quiet evenings at home. Jody doesn't like to read - except that he does consider the books on tape that he listens to while driving, as reading! Jody would rather be going somewhere - doing something and/or talking about anything rather than sitting quietly at home!

We don't have much in common but we share a love of God and respect and love for each other. I believe that God brought us together and know that He will guide us in the paths we take together in this marriage!

8. Jody and I started our marriage with children. We have always had children in our home - for 18 1/2 years now. This summer is the first time during our marriage that we have had a house with no children!

The girls are all married and have their own homes, husbands and children. Chance is our baby who is now 17 1/2 years old. He has been gone most of the summer - first on vacation with his best friend and family, then this past month he was hired at the same company where Michael works, after Michael arranged an interview for him. He has been staying with Michael and Elizabeth so that he can ride to work with Michael each day. He came home on the weekends, but as soon as he got home each week he was off again to spend time with his best friend.

It's been a huge change for us! It's like we have to get acquainted all over again - figuring out who we are without children! It's an adjustment, but one I think has been good for us. We've entered a new phase in our lives and in our marriage.

I pray that God will continue to bless us with a greater knowledge and understanding of His plan for us. We recently placed membership with LifeChurch where we have been attending for about four months now. It feels good to belong and I know that God has great things in store for us. Jody actually stays awake during worship service - believe me that's quite an accomplishment! He also quotes scripture to me - in conversation, which he has not done during our entire marriage. I'm looking forward to the rest of our life together and am anxious to discover "us" - who we are at this stage and who we can be as we continue to grow together!

Thank you, Valerie, for the tag! I now tag - Elizabeth, Michael, Annie and Julie.