Just My Thoughts Today

The other day I was sitting and looking at Chance – really looking at him and seeing the man that he is quickly becoming before my eyes! I kept thinking, how did he become this man so fast – without my approval? I’ve been a mom for 26 years and my children – all four of my children, as they were growing up, were truly my life. Everything I did, everything I said, everything I wore, everything in my life was decided by what each of those things would say to my children about me. I was the example my children would pattern themselves after as they grew into adulthood.

The past few years, as my daughters have married and moved away from our home, I wondered what my life would be like once they were all gone. How could I make a new life – without them being my first thought when I awoke each day? I wondered what Jody and I would have to talk about and think about each day.

When our children were younger Jody worked a lot and was away from the house a lot! If you read my Father’s Day post you know that I literally took over our children alone – without his help, or as I saw it then, his interference. This place I am right now – with only my youngest child still living at home is a place I never thought about as the kids grew up. I never looked past the life I was living with them at the forefront!

Chance will be a senior in the fall, turning 18 in January. I know that whether he goes to school after graduation or goes to work, he will begin to leave our home – even if he is physically still here. I think about the man he will be – will he make decisions based on God’s commandments? Will he be interested only in material things, or activities that are worldly? What kind of girls will he date? What kind of woman will he choose to be his wife?

I know that God gave Jody and me the responsibility to raise our children to love Him and to put Him first in their lives. When we were given this amazing gift of our children, I knew that my job as a mom was to prepare them for a life apart from the world while still living in it. It is a responsibility that I take very seriously.

19) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20) idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21) envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23) gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24) And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25) If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26) Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5: 19-26

When God ordained marriage, it was meant to be one man with one woman until death.

"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." I Corinthians 7:39

Jody and I both came into our marriage with children – not our children together, but children from our first marriages. It is so evident that divorce is not a Godly action, especially in the way that it affects the children!

Elizabeth was 8 when Jody and I married and I had raised her by myself for those 8 years. Her biological father was only in her life for one year during all that time. The year that he was in her life was traumatic on her. He did not put her needs first – only enforced the court-ordered visitation as a punishment to me. It was almost an unbearable punishment! Many things happened during that time and finally after the end of that horrible year, with the threat of legal action being brought against him, he stopped enforcing the visitation and she no longer was forced to endure the evils that were his life.

Toni, 9 years old at the time of our marriage, and Candace 8, did have their mother in their lives. She took the girls at the visitation times given to her and she loved her girls. The girls were constantly torn between wanting to please their mom and also wanting to make Jody happy. There was pressure on the girls all the time because they felt they had to make a decision whether to live with their mom or to stay with Jody. There were huge differences between our two homes in regard to most things including discipline. It was very difficult on the girls and on my relationship with them. They felt that if they loved me they would betray their mom. It was a life I would not wish on any child!

The girls are all grown now and I can see many differences in the priorities in each one’s life. They are all married and they each have at least one child. Each loves her husband and her children – in that regard they are much the same. They are all so different in many other ways and I love each one for their individuality and thank God and pray daily for each of them and their families.

Each of the girls has different ideas on child rearing and discipline. Jody and I support each one because, after all, each parent has the right to bring up their children in the way they believe to be right. When my grandchildren are at our house, the same rules that their parents apply for them remain in effect. We try never to deviate from the rules that each set of parents has for their own child(ren). Sometimes it’s hard – it’s easy to think that I know better what the kids need, but I also know that it’s not my place to decide.

I have never stopped praying for my children and I never will – praying that they will allow God to lead them in their daily lives. That they will put God first and live the life that He intended for them to live. I pray that they will live apart from the world – not giving in to the temptations that are constantly before them. I pray that when Chance leaves us to take his place in the world that he, too, will be faithful to our Lord.

Of all the things that I wanted for my children as they were growing up, the greatest thing I can imagine now is that they would love the Lord and live every day in anticipation of His return. That each one of my children (including my sons-in-law) would know the wonderful peace that comes from having a relationship with God!

Lord, I pray that each one desire that relationship with You and that each one will realize that our time here is short – and they have no time to waste on this world! And Lord I pray that upon your return you will look at the way Jody and I have raised our children and that you will say, “Well done, my good and faithful servants”!